What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
What do I do?
7
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 6:44pm

Hi,


Im just wondering what everyones thoughts are about this...


If your relationship has been in extreem turmoil for quite some time, and you have just gone through a serious seperation, custody fight, down right nasty time, and you have just reconciled, not to mention a tremendous amout of more serious issues since you have reconciled, do you think that having sex will fix it all and make everyone feel better? I shared with him that fact that given our recent circumstances, I am hesitant to be so intimate, for many reasons, and I don't want to be hurt again. Does that make sense to anyone, or am I supposed to just give it to him when ever he wants it to keep the peace?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
In reply to: mlo328
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 8:24pm
It DOES make sense to me that you don't want to be intimate right now, but you also have to understand that people respond to things in different ways. And your partner also has to understand this. I am the same way your partner is in that I like to feel
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
In reply to: mlo328
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 8:24pm
does ANYONE have any thoughts on this? I could really use some insite from someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
In reply to: mlo328
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 8:40pm

Hi there,


Well, We have been together for 20 years, not married, 2 kids 8 and 5. I took the kids and moved out in July, All H** BROKE LOOSE!! Hense the custody battle etc....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
In reply to: mlo328
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 9:16pm
Now that I know more details, I see that it is much more serious than I thought. I definitely don't think you need to be running back to have sex with him right now. It's only been three weeks, and with everything going on that you mentioned?? I would say to definitely hold off, and try to repair your relationship FIRST! My husband and I have held off on sex for more than three weeks, and we haven't had the degree of problems that you have - so no I think you are on the right track in holding off until things seem MUCH more settled. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
In reply to: mlo328
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 10:21pm
thanks, at least I know Im not the only one that thinks this way! That is exactly what I told him, that we need to fix the relationship first and the rest will come. Thanks again for listening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: mlo328
Sat, 12-08-2007 - 12:54am

Welcome to the board mlo328,


These boards are very slow over the weekends usually, so hopefully come Monday you will have more replies.


No sex will not make it 'all better'. Emotional intimacy can lead to sex.... BUT there is a

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: mlo328
Sat, 12-08-2007 - 3:51am

I haven't read the other posts, so please forgive me if I repeat something.


My thoughts are that if you're not prepared to have an intimate relationship, then you shouldn't be back together again.

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