What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
What do I do?
2
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 6:20pm
Two nights ago my husband told me that he had "feelings" for a woman at work. I need to explain something first though to appreciate what this means.
About a year ago we finally admitted to his parents (mine are not on the scene) that we were in big debt. A few months later we thought I had a misscarriage (being trying for three years). I hadn't - I have PCOS. I am very overweight and so have been battling with that too. He went to a fertility clinic - he was fine. Both of us have gone through unrest at work due to redundancies, new management, you know the picture. We rowed every three months until very recently. My husband was diagnosed with stress, me depression. Not a good picture all in all. We had a major blow out in Feb and both decided to make a go of it and things started to get better. In recent weeks I thought all was fine. He was distant towards me at the beginning of this week and on Tuesday we had a row. I wanted him to open up to me thinking he was getting bogged down at work - he then told me about her. I later found out that it has been going on since January but he says it is not sexual. She has recently become single. I am in complete turmoil as he cannot tell me what he wants to do but today, he came home from work and is now acting as though nothing has happenned. He called me by my pet name and its just so weird. I want to move on and build our marriage so am giving him space, keeping out of the way in my workroom. So to my question after such a long winded but not full synopsis of things. When do I confront him about things? When do I ask where I stand? Do I ask him if he does want to be with me, if he has finished it with her? I am so confused!!! (I have also been pescribed anti-depressants but my husband doesn't know)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
In reply to: tekesta
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 10:25pm
Of course you have to find out where you stand with this man. If you don't, he will just keeping jerking your around according to whatever mood he is in. You need to know what his intentions are, and what he is going to do or has done about his relationship with this other woman ASAP.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: tekesta
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 10:31pm

Hi tekesta and welcome to the board -


Your husband has been building a relationship and friendship with his co-worker, sharing feelings and intimate details about his life with her, that is called an emotional affair.