WHAT DO I DO

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
WHAT DO I DO
3
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 12:17pm
I have been in a relationship for over 2 years with a wonderful man. I have made several mistakes. I have cheated, stayed out all night without him knowing where I was, and told lies. He has stayed my side through it all. I willingly accept the blame for all that I've done. This last time though he has distanced himself from me. We are trying to work on things and I know that he is who I want. I've had several things going on in my life and that has caused so much of our grief. I am putting 100% into things now. I know I don't have any chances left. But, I know he is the man I want to be with. My heart aches when we split up. He has now turned the tables on me. He goes without calling and won't return messages. And I know him good enough that I know he isn't cheating. He's never lied to me about anything whether I liked it or not. I've got a long road to earn his trust back and I'm willing to be patient and work on that. But, I just don't know what to do to mend his heart. I don't want us to just give up and throw it all away. He loves me in a different way than I've ever been loved. I just want to make things right and get things back to "normal". Does anyone have any suggestions? Please give me your ideas.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2004
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 12:53pm
Hi Honey,

I don't have any responses to your question because I am going through the exact same thing. If you have a chance, read "I've really done it this time" under the same section as you posted.

If anything, we should be eachother's pillars. :)

Cheer up! It will work out for both of us!

B

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 2:43am
For one, I guess now you know what if feels like to have a taste of your own medicine. Ok, enough said with that. Now, sometimes when we have something really good, we somehow believe we don't deserve it. It's not really a conscious thing. Then we start to take the other for granted, and forgetting to treat him or her with respect and appreciation. Then when things shift, we go crazy because we recognize the "good thing" we have. The problem is that if he doesn't distance himself from you and let you "sweat it out" for awhile, you would probably do the same thing again once you felt secure with him. He would lose all self respect if he allowed you to do this to him. The reason he was patient wasn't because he's a loser or a sucker, it's because he is a good man. But he has enough self worth not to continue with the situation. You may have a chance, but believe me, you will need to work hard and long and take a serious look at your behaviour if your relationship with this man were to ever have a chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 2:49pm
Couple's counseling, so he can vent his feelings of betrayal, you can get to the bottom of what made you do it in the first place, and it's a safe place to rebuild trust.


Carrie