WHAT DO I DO???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
WHAT DO I DO???????
3
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 2:56pm
I am having a serious problem with my relationship. My husband has made it 100% clear that he doesnt give a sh*t about me anymore he just does what he wants no matter if i like it or not and he is on a collision course to a divorce. Ive expressed my concerns to him and he will basically say what ever he needs to say to shut me up for the moment then when its time to prove it he goes back to the i dont care husband, like for example yestarday i came home and he wasnt feeling good so he asked me to cuddle him and he held me tight and we took a t late afternoon nap, i wasnt tired but it was nice to just lay with him...

Anyway, when he woke up he was a total as*hole being ever which way of mean. Then later on in the night he said he was sorry. But now today he is being the same way??????? Please tell me something has anyone been in a relationship that was very up and down and survived it?????

Please i need some info or im afraid we will have to end it!!!!! And thats not something i want but it will have to be done and if i do it, i plan on doing it tonight!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 3:08pm
You won't like this answer but....

I doubt seriously the man has ever done anything "for you" in terms of him thinking "I should do this for her out of respect and admiration and love".

I suspect he's done precisely what he wants at all times, that benefits him, and that suits his agenda.

It's just that up to now you've "thought" whenever it felt good, or was positive "for you" that it was "about you" that he did it - it wasn't.

Now you're accepting the reality of the facts...he does whatever he wants, when he wants, why he wants, because he wants....period the end.

If you benefit from it - bonus and score, and if you don't and are upset about it - so what.

I suspect the entire relationship has been this way - you've deluded yourself into thinking what felt so good, or you interpretted as "being so nice" as "all about you" on his part. It wasn't.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 3:20pm
no actually he has only been like this for about 3 weeks and i think it stems from him getting hit by a car a couple of months ago and has since just started driving but when i tell you he is sooooo mean and nasty and just very over bearing with his expressions, actions and words. I cant stand it for one more day and he is already starting while im at work so its just frustrating and im done with all the nonsense. but thanks for trying!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 3:27pm
Let's go at this another way.

People do what they do because they want to do it. Thier values and priorities and standards justify and entitle their actions, feelings, thoughts, decisions, words, ideas, and desires. Those same values in all situations deetermine their character, conscience, integrity and honor.

So really, at all times - we're doing what we want to do, what be believe is right and that we have the right ot do, what we reason per our reasoning pattern is correct to do - to get us our desired result.

If he's just changed since the car accident....don't rule out medical issues. I know someone that was hit 10 years ago by a car......that was very mild manners, very rational, reasonable, and successful prior to that time...that became anxious, nervous, short tempered, and less than realistic and logical....and he's been that way ever since.

Head injury is traumatic and often permanent - if that is what you're dealing with.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com