What do I do?
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What do I do?
| Wed, 09-24-2008 - 6:49pm |
I have been dating a man for 3 months now and we were friends 6 months prior to us dating. I have fallen in love with him and think we are very much meant to be. He is divorced and has two kids. I have not met them yet because they have problems with him dating. Just recently one of his children had a medical emergency and he decided it would be best for his kids to end our relationship because he was scared of what might have happened if he wasn't at home at the time. I am broken hearted and I don't understand why he can not be a good Dad but be in a relationship at the same time. I am going to give him space for now because his child is seriously ill. I do not want to give him more to worry about right now. But should I keep hope that maybe in the future that things might work out or move on? This is so hard for me to deal with a broken heart yet want to do the right thing by leaving him be. Any ideas?

Well, I agree with him that you should not be integrated into his children's lives when a) they aren't comfortable with him dating people other than Mom and b) you're still very new in his life, regardless of whether or not you think this is meant to be.
I feel for him, having an ill child must be very difficult on him. It sounds as though he has too many people to care for emotionally right now, and adding a girlfriend to that list is just not right for him at this point in his life. I understand you are heartbroken and I sympathize... But I have an inkling that maybe you let yourself get too attached too soon and there's a danger in that. You can only make decisions for YOU - he has things he needs to do too, and I'm sure it's more difficult on him than you think.
Perhaps if you really like one another this relationship will happen again with better results in the future, when his situation is good to invite a love interest into. Right now it's not. You have to respect his decision, and even though it's hard, try to understand that it's the best one for him. You should close this book and move on. To focus on "will this work out someday?" is to deny yourself the chance to heal from this experience. Make the most out of your life right now, don't contact him at all and start the process of moving on. I'm sorry...
Welcome to the board amayafaye777,
It's pretty normal that you haven't met his children, however, the fact that they would be upset if he were dating, tells me that he's not in control of his own life. He's not talked enough to the kids so that they know where things stand with him and their mother, nor has he done enough to help them cope with the divorce.
It can't be 'meant to be' if he doesn't want a relationship, if he lives in fear, if he doesn't want to be with you.
Let it be.
I wanted to share my experience with you.
I met a man online; we e-mailed for a month, talked on the telephone for a month, and finally met the next month.