What do I do.........
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What do I do.........
| Mon, 08-04-2008 - 8:44pm |
I have been married for 8 years, and my husband and I decided that we are both bored in our relationship, and lives. We talked openly about what we both wanted, and the topic of open marriage came up. We decided that that is something that we would like to try. We set ground rules: 1) no sex with friends (that just makes things awkward), 2) not to have sex with someone while highly intoxicated, and 3), use protection.

Can I ask how old you are?
Well if either one of you couldn't handle the consequences of your agreement it shouldn't have been agreed upon. Should have thought of that beforehand.
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You broke all of the ground rules.
He needs to get over being pissy..he agreed with everything, if he's pissed thats his problem.
You both agreed to try this, so now you get to deal with the consequences of your actions.
I am 29, and my husband is 28.
I know that the rules were broken, and I feel horrible for doing that, it wasn't planned. We both agreed with it mutually, as long as the rules werent broken, but they were, and that is why he is pissed, and I don't blame him, but how was he gonna protect himself, he told me he didn't buy any condoms.....I just wonder what is gonna happen next for us, and I hope that he will be able to move on. I am not upset that I slept with the guy, just that the rules were broken, and if they hadn't been broken, I think we would be ok, but nothing can be done about that now.
I will never understand people who think that the solution to a relationship problem is found outside of the relationship.
What exactly do you want help with?
If you are having problems between you the answer is to fix what is between you. This solution, as normally would be expected, only made things worse. When you love someone, you don't REALLY want them to be with someone else even if you think it will make things better. Your husband clearly couldn't handle it. And breaking the rules you had set for this was surely asking for disaster.
I think you desperately need marriage counseling. DESPERATELY. Now that there is "betrayal" in your relationship it will be more difficult to fix. But so long as you are both committed to fixing it, it can be done.
Pick up a couple of good books to read together or separately.
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch