What do I do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
What do I do...
4
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 7:46pm
I'm 33 years old. I've been with my husband for 12 years and married for 5 years. I love him and can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. Over time our relationship is not at all passionate but it is comfortable and affectionate and respectful. He's still my favorite person. However, I don't enjoy sex that much. I masturbate constantly however so its not just libido. I'm not sure what to do. I've done things where I've set times for sex but then it just starts to feel like work. We have our best sex on drunken nights! I'd only been with one other person before we got together so I don't know exactly how to verbalize what I want...just what I don't want. It seems like a waste to give up so early in our relationship or to give up when everything else seems good. We only have sex about once a month and I've rejected him so often he's given up asking that frequently. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 9:39pm
Have you tried just having an open and honest discussion about your sexual needs?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 1:10pm

Welcome to the board queentut2006,


You may have to be blunt with him to get through to him. Most guys don't take hints.


Have you read, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom by John Grey? It might help.


Other iVillage boards that might help as well:


The Secrets of Married Sex


Make Him Moan


Let's Talk about Sex





iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 4:19pm

Welcome to the board,


You should check out the links that Carrie provided for you.


Also could you try showing him what you want in bed. Like directing his hand somewhere. Or you could try taking control of things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 4:58pm
I think you're right.