What Do I Do Now??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
What Do I Do Now??
18
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 9:48am
This issue has been resolved.


Edited 8/14/2007 12:32 pm ET by aryaflower1986

Pages

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 10:41am

I suggest you go get some counseling for yourself so that you can work on your feelings of lonliness and inadequacy.

Many will tell you to 'fess up to your husband. I am NOT one of those people. I think it would be extremely selfish of you to devastate your husband in order to cleanse your conscience.

Go to church, confess to God if you need to, and redouble your efforts to fix your marriage.

Would your husband be willing to go to marriage counseling with you? Since you are unhappy enough to stray, I'd say you're unhappy enough to seek marriage counseling.

Oh, and fwiw, depending on the state you live in, he couldn't just take your child away from you just because you're a SAHM and because it was "your fault". Being a SAHM actually works in your favor as far as custody goes. But if you really decide to confess, go see a lawyer to find out what your rights are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:02pm

Welcome to the board aryaflower1986,


I agree with the previous poster about the ability or, lack there

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:51pm

Your husband cannot win custody of your daugher just because you cheated. It's important that you know that because in my opinion you need to tell him the truth. He was honest from the start about what he would do if you cheated and now you have to face to consequences. Lying about it will only make it worse.

Thom

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:56pm

This response will probably get deleted but I have to agree with it

You made the choice to cheat on your husband, no matter what justification you want to tie onto it. You made this mess, clean it up. Tell him what you did and give him the option to continue being married to a cheater or find someone else who deserves him. You've probably ruined your marriage but you have to wonder - maybe that is the best for both of you. Cheating during a time when you are supposed to be making things better between you and building trust is really sad and inexcusable. I think you should come clean to him because he deserves way better than this.

I hope you at least thought to have protected sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 3:08pm
Do not tell your husband. This was your mistake, your issue, and you should not hurt your husband and devastate your family to keep it from "eating away at you." Do not go to parties without your husband, because you cannot trust your own irresponsible judgment. See a counselor on your own and work on being the person you know you ought to be.
Your husband cannot take your daughter away because you cheated. This could hurt you in the division of marital assets, if you have any, but it won't hurt you with custody. You do have a very real problem supporting yourself if your marriage breaks up. If I were you, I would give some serious thought about re-entering the job market. It could be that you are feeling isolated and bored, and a job could be good for you and good for your marriage.
I also hope you had protected sex, but even if you did, make an appointment with your physician and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Some diseases can be transmitted even with protected sex. If you find you do have a disease, you MUST tell your husband at that point.

Cat 

Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 3:34pm

mradvice,


Please edit out your post to delete the vuglar name-calling, per the terms of iVillage rules.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 3:53pm
Just edit so you won't get reported for a violation.....



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 4:19pm
Actually people posted for her to go to individual counseling and for both her and her husband to go to marriage counseling together.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 4:49pm
Did you not SEE what he called you in that second post?? He should be banned from iVillage!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 4:59pm
I missed it. I want to know. Oh wait, is that NOT a typo!!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



Edited 8/13/2007 5:00 pm ET by cl-ctara19811

Pages