what do i do now?????
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what do i do now?????
| Fri, 05-18-2007 - 10:32am |
i have known my boyfriend for over 2 years and we have been living together since december 2006. we have the greatest friendship and i love him so much and i believe that he loves me too - the problem is not long after i moved in our sex life became almost non existant. i have tried to initiate on occassion but he won't go for it and i have been turned down now so i don't even try anymore, i just basically sit back and wait on him - we are down to now maybe 1 time a week. i have tried talking to him, he says it is nothing to do with his desire to make love to me. i guess he sees it as no big deal. well, last night we had a HUGE fight!!! i ended up leaving and getting a hotel room and now i guess i will have to find another place to live. he called me this morning but when we got off the phone he didn't even say that he loved me and this is the first time that he has ever got off the phone and not told me he loved me. i guess i am just tired of feeling as though there is something wrong with me. i feel unattractive, not sexy at all and i have tried to tell him this, but he always takes it as me blaming him and then he tells me that why would he want to have sex with me when i act the way that i act. which when he said that got me to thinking ----- why do i even want to have a relationship with someone who feels that way about me. he told me last night that if you take away the arguements we have about sex that we have a perfect relationship and are happy together and he is right about that. we are happy and have alot of fun together but i don't want to be in a "relationship" with a man that doesn't want to make love with me. that is a friendship! i don't know what to do!!! i am so sad b/c i have probably caused damage beyond repair and now not only am i without a partner to share my love and my life with, i have to tell my daughter (not his) that we have to move. he asked me last night before i left when i would have my things out of his house and i told him this weekend, but that is going to be impossible b/c i have no place to go.........no family here and no money to even get an apartment right this moment. i sometimes wish i would have just kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it but, that is what i always do and i just really want to be heard and for once have a man in my life that cares enough about me to give me what i need. i am really not asking for much, but i love this man so much and i want to be as close to him as i possibly can. i have not ever had this before, i have not been a sexual person with my previous relationships, b/c i wasn't in love with those guys. there is such a huge difference in how i am b/c i love him and i just think that he should be and feel differently too. he says that he has never been in love before me and that i make him happier than he has ever been. if that is the case, what happened to our sex life? is it me? could i be doing something, anything that might cause him to change his actions. and no, he is not cheating -

Welcome to the board twilliams352003,
Since you have a good relationship outside of this issue, why don't you try couples counseling. It seems like you could really benefit from it.
Try talking to him and seeing if he would be willing to go with you.
Good luck.
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