What do I think. Advice please
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| Thu, 05-17-2007 - 9:27pm |
Here is something weird i noticed.
Do you know when you call someone and they are on the phone--you hear a distinctive ring? (not when you are on the phone and you hear the call waiting but the other way around--when you call the person and realize they are on the phone because you hear a distinctive ring to it)
Well lately for a couple of months i noticed that i have not called my b/f at all when he was on the phone which is weird because that has never happened for awhile straight--and it actually made me think ok i guess he isnt on the phone as much but it also made me think--somehow he was able to shut this off so maybe i wont know if he is on the phone.
I call him the other day and it goes to his voicemail after so many rings. I check his phone the next day and it says i called him at 11:24 and he was on the phone at 11:16 for like 8 minutes and so many seconds...i should have been able to hear that distinctive ring and i didnt..which is making me feel anxious because I even asked him earlier before I saw this, were you busy when i called and he said he was in the car---leaving out that he was on the phone. Also--one time he was trying to reach me a few times within a few like 2 minutes--i called him back after seeing it and it went to voicemail after like one ring--i tried again and then it rang and he picked up and he said i was just about to send you a text--if he was sending me a text or attempting to--it shouldnt go to voicemail--it just makes me believe he shut it off or something so i wont know if he is on the phone. And it also means he might be lying.
Is there a way for this to be shut off?--has he been lying to me about this calling waiting so i wont know when he is on the phone? what do i do..i was thinking of trying to call him when i know he is using the phone and say how come i did not hear the beep.
Anyone please respond--he has the razr phone.

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This is nothing unusual: if you try and call someone right back (after they just called you,) it frequently jumps to their voicemail. And if he was sending you a text, it can absolutely jump to his voicemail for that also. Have you ever called a friend and gotten their voicemail and then tried again, and it rang? It happens to me all the time - it doesn't mean they turned their phone off, it means the lines are just still "running your call," i.e. when you call him right back after he's called you, the phone lines have not yet cleared their system. It's common.
>>Is there a way for this to be shut off?--has he been lying to me about this calling waiting so i wont know when he is on the phone? what do i do.<<
No, there is no way to "shut off" the special ringer (and I know exactly what you're talking about.) Honestly, I think you're being a little paranoid about all of this. I mean, you're looking through his phone to check the length of his phone calls to other people, and measuring that against the exact time you spoke with him? That's insane, and its no wonder you're driving yourself crazy over this! You're being too nit-picky. You either trust him or you don't. Unless you have damn good reason, there's no point in LOOKING for things that "don't add up." I think if you were to approach him and say, "I knew you were on the phone, why didn't I hear the beep?" you would sound very accusatory and over-the-top. If you have trust issues, bring those up now. Don't beat around the bush by looking through call records; that's almost stalker-ish.
ge56 -
Is there something else going on in the relationship that makes you not trust him or makes you think he's lying?
I think Verizon and maybe Cingular (???) have that ring tone. When I call my sisters, who have a different service, I don't get that ring tone when they're on another line. It just rings a bunch of times and then goes to voice mail.
I have to wonder the same as the last poster: are there other things going on that are making you suspect something? Are you picking up a "vibe" or something?
WE have the same service--so i should be able to hear it. This is what makes me think he is lying--b/c i have not heard that ring in months and i used to hear it like every other day b/c chances are--you are bound to call someone when they are on the phone--and then the one time i saw that i called him and it went to voicemail and saw that he was on the phone--well doesnt that mean he lying? i actually did ask him before i checked by casually saying oh you didnt hear it? he said he was in the car--and never said he was on the phone because i would then say---well how come i didnt hear the beep?
I am really tempted when i am with him and he is about to use his phone--to call him accidentally because i have him on speed dial and i can say i wanted to check my voice mail and then if i dont hear the beep i can say whats up with that?
Im worried this is gonna cause problems--but then if i found out he took it off--obviously i believe its because he doesnt want me to know he was on the phone.
But i still dont know if this is possible to do--to take that distinctive ring away without it affecting knowing who called?--like if you took it away--then wouldnt it go straight to voice mail when i call him and he is on the phone--and it wouldnt even show up as a missed call?