What to do when he doesn't like your pet

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
What to do when he doesn't like your pet
5
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 7:54pm
Where do I begin with my soap opera of a life? I was dating this guy, we'll call him Mark, for over 2 years. We both are divorced and began our reltionshop as friends. We had a lot of fun together as well as a lot in common. We lived together for about 2 years when he made a terrible decsion that has hurt our relationship. I have a dog whom I adore and lives in the house (where else would one keep their dog??). He and were planning on building a house togehter and all was great except for the fact that he didn't want my dog living in the house. Let me add here that he has a child froma previous relationship. He knew that if he made me choose between him and the dog, I'd choose my dog so he and another guy decided to kidnap my dog. Drama, I know. So my dog was taken to another state. I searched endlessly for my dog and was in hysterics for 2 weeks. He watched me fall apart, crying, not eating or sleeping, and missing work. I ended up finding my dog and the truth was exposed. He said he did it only becasue he loves me so much...he just wanted to be with me. It's a sick kind of love, I guess. So after some time apaprt, we started dating again. My family hates him and I can't help but to not trust him around my dog. I know that you can't have a realtionship with out trust, so as I'm typing this, I feel like I know what I need to do, but I fell in love with him and turn those feelings off. Is it possible to save the relationship and build back what we had? I just wanted to hear what some other women thought. Sometimes it is hard to remove someone from your life when you love him so incredibly much.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 1:55am

I'm sorry, but I don't think someone who truly loved you would put you through so much pain and fear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 3:55am

OH. MY. GOD!! are you serious? this man is SICK. he doesn't love you AT ALL. this is not a "sick kind of love" -

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 12:20pm
He sounds very similar to my ex-husband. We got two kittens pretty early on in our marriage. He liked them a lot at first, but then got sick of them. Wanted me to get rid of them (even though he knew how much they meant to me). I should mention that they are very well behaved cats - they've never had an accident in the house and are very sociable.

It got to the point where I couldn't trust him around them - he was mean to them and even tried to let them out of the house a few times in hopes they'd get 'lost'.

Anyway, I came to the conclusion that if he couldn't deal with the responsibility and occasional inconvenience of cat hair, then he'd never be able to deal with children. Plus if he was willing to disregard my feelings and wants, he didn't truly care about me.

As I stated above, he's my EX-husband. Best decision I ever made. I'm now dating a man who adores my kitties and I couldn't be happier!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 12:28pm
Good post Cat Nap. You should post here more often.


To the original poster-get out now. This man doesn't love you. I am surprised you took him back actually. If someone made me choose between him and my cats, I'd help him pack his bags. Thank goodness my Dh is a cat person.

There are plenty of dog-loving men out there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 5:29pm
Ah, not to be rude, but what is wrong with you?

This guy doesn't think anything is wrong with his thinking, his thought process.... he thinks the 'ends' justify the means. Does he have a conscious?

So you love someone that has no regards for your feelings. Love is about sharing, caring, respect and admiration.

I couldn't rebuild a relationship no matter how much I *thought* I loved him.

Your happiness doesn't come from him, it comes from within you.


Carrie