What to do with,um, slow boyfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
What to do with,um, slow boyfriend?
6
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 6:13pm

Ok, I have to first say that I'm going to feel a bit like a snob asking the things I'm going to ask.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 6:18pm

It might be that his lack of "common sense" makes you feel insecure, as though he won't be able to take care of you in a relationship, or that you will have to be the one to take care of him. It's understandable that you might feel uneasy when he is not aware of very basic things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 7:09pm
I like drshoshanna's response to you. I don't think you're snobby, I had a boyfriend a lot like yours in high school. He lacked a basic understanding of things and did not communicate well (for some reason he got top marks in school). It's frustrating to deal with someone who just isn't "with it". I wouldn't blame you at all if you decided you didn't want to spend the rest of your life with someone who you'd have to answer stupid questions for all of the time, but you do need to look at the bigger picture to realize how important this is to you. There's no way you're going to make him smarter or give him more common sense. So you can either love him regardless or leave him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 11:17pm

My mother likes to say that common sense isn't common, but are you sure that's his problem or is it more that he doesn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 7:57am

Perhaps the two of you are just a bad match.


He's not going to get better at "common sense".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 11:43am
Having a talk with him about his ignorance of many things isn't going to help the relationship or make him want to explore the world, read more and pay attention to current events. It is o.k. to realize that you two aren't a good match and move on. I would feel the same way if I couldn't talk to my husband about all sorts of subjects.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 12:01pm

Welcome to the board waimae,


The thing is if you talk to him about these it is only going to make him feel bad about himself. Not the mention the fact that there isn't anything he can do to change this.


It seems like he isn't right for you.

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