what do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
what do you think?
2
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 1:28pm
I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year and things have been fantastic up until recently. About six months ago he shared with me that he was embarrassed to have me know that he was recently arrested for DUI. This was a surprise to me since he seems so responsible and he is so sorry and embarrassed for what happened. My problem is that his court date is soon approaching and I have definately noticed a decline in his attention towards me. There has been an extreme lack of intamacy ( a decline in hugs, hand holding, kissing, cuddling, sex) though not of time spent together. He actually was over last night and where he would normally stay he ended up leaving. I talked to him about how I was feeling neglected and unwanted and how I'm confused about what his behavior means....is he not attracted to me anymore or is this because of stress...He seemed confused(like a man) and kept saying it was because of the stress he was under. I asked if he wanted me not to call him so he could have time alone. He responded with a no. He ended up leaving and I was left alone and sad. I really do love him and want to be there for him but can't help feeling alone. I don't know what the right thing to do is. I feel that if I continue to keep feeling as if I'm being pushed away and don't do something to fix this problem now then our relationship is headed for disaster. Do men act this way when they are stressed, or do you think he is trying to leave me? Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 1:51pm
Hmmmm...do you think there is really a correlation between his DUI and his affection/interest in you? Did it decline at the same time that he admitted his arrest? I just don't buy that his feelings for you and affection would change because of a court date. This is something that you need to find out. Is he really stressed and this is how he deals with it or is it an excuse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 3:12pm
icheerio...

How much alcohol does your b/f consume on an average day?

If he drinks a lot....there might be a "sexually-related issue" in conjunction with the stress he's experiencing? Alcohol is a contributing factor to poor erections and lack of libido...because both begin with signals from the brain.

You might want to talk to him about whether he's more dependent on YOU...or the booze?

Pianoguy