What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2003
What do you think?
7
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 12:45pm
I finally connected with a man who has had a crush on me for a very long time. We were attracted to each other but just never made a move for one reason or another. girlfriends, boyfriends etc. Well recently we were both single and connected. I just found out that he is still married. I knew he was married but had heard that he was divorced. Well he has been separated for over a year and lives in a different state from his wife. They have not even filed. I feel very strongly about dating men who have girlfriends or wifes. I will not do it. I never asked him if he was divorced I just assumed it from what I had heard from friends. I did ask him if he had a girlfriend... he told me no, he has girls that he dates but is very nervous about relationships due to the fact that he was burned before in his marriage. We live in different states so it is not like we are really in a realtionship. We were just starting. We were planning a vacation with friends this summer. What would you do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 12:52pm

Besides living in seperate states from his estranged wife, is there a specific reason why he has waited dso long to file? Are children involved? There can be many reasons why he has waited and still hasnt filed, have you asked him?Does he know you "rules" of not dating attached men?


It does seem odd that he has kind of hidden this all from you, but

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 12:56pm
There are no children. The wife is the one who wanted out. She had doubts before the wedding. I have not asked him about it. I heard that she (his wife)had a friend who cheated on her husband when ever he was out of town. His wife decided she did not want to be married anymore. She/him has just not filed. My friend has asked him if they would get back together and he replied.....No there has been just too much time and the feelings have changed. I have no idea why he did not mention it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 1:15pm
If you think you might fall in love with this man, stop the relationship now. He's not in a position to follow through with anything - committment, marriage, etc. He's still has unfinished business with his ex-to-be.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 1:20pm
I think I am already in love....but you are right with the way I feel about these kinds of situations. I am going to stop communicating.....I really respect relationships. I also am a strong believer of what goes around comes around. I have been in several realtionships before where men have cheated on me....I just don't like it. I treat people like I want to be treated. Dating someone with a wife or girlfriend is taboo!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 1:22pm
Good for you for sticking to your beliefs, morals and values. I too believe, what goes around comes around.


Edited 5/14/2004 1:23 pm ET ET by itwinflame


Carrie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 1:43pm
I would ask him to contact you when his divorce is final.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 4:52pm
Thank you all for your advice.