what is going on? please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2004
what is going on? please help!
3
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 1:49am
if any of you have been reading my posts you already know about the "taking time off" phase that me & my bf of 2 years are going through. Anyhow we saw each other on Tuesday at my request. We had a great time (not like always of course) but it was good. After a nice dinner we went over to his place & I tried to bring up the subject by asking him about the fact that he told his friends that we have broken up. He denied it & I accepted. He said that he still loves me however he still has some thinking to do! ( I am bot sure where this thinking is going?)Anyhow he assured me that his love is still there. Then I asked him to promise that he will discuss the problems with me so that we can talk about them & hopefully find a solution, I told him that leaving him is hardly an option for me, he agreed that its just a difficult for him. I came back home that night thinking things were better but he hasn't answered my calls for 2 days! I mean he does pick up the phone but says that he will call me & then he doesn't! So I left him a message tonight asking him to talk to me if he needs more space. I figured I won't call him until he calls. Does anyone have any explanation for his behavior? Please help, I am going insane here.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 1:58am
you want to give him space and that means leave him to his own thinking. don't call him. once he figures it out he will come to you. it's hard i know, i've been through it, and thought if i just let him know how much i care, and if i just pull him closer to me, he'll see. but i was wrong. you gotta let him do his own thing and figure out what he wants to do about this relationship on his own. good luck. meanwhile stay focused on yourself. go out, read a book, watch a movie, hang out with the girls.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 8:38am

Him asking for space doesnt mean that its okay to call him several times a day and request to see him all of the time. In fact, it most likely doing the exact opposite of what you want it to do, its pushing him away. Dont call him, I know its hard, but you want him to be with you because he loves you and wants to be with you...not because he just couldnt get away.


Give him some time...and that might mean a week or two, not a couple hours in between phone calls. If things dont work out and he chooses to stay unattached, thien you need to accept that and appreciate his honesty.


Bets wishes,


 

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 1:07pm
I have to agree with what the others posted. Even though it is hard and confusing(who can understand guys sometimes) if he says he needs space and is not answering or returning your calls then you need to wait it out until he is ready to come to you first. My ex did the same thing to me-wouldn't answer my calls or return my messages so finally after a week of this I went over to his house to talk to him about what was going on(which made him mad) he said that he just needed some space and that me calling him was just making him madder and that he would call me in a couple of days to a week and he did. But it killed me the whole time waiting for his call, but it was what he needed. So just hang in there and I am sure things will be fine.