What happened here? Sorry so long

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2013
What happened here? Sorry so long
Thu, 05-30-2013 - 9:42pm
Hello, I'm a 28 year old female and about a month and half ago I started Dating this guy I knew for over a year.. We worked together and Now he no longer works for the company so I called him up. We were really close at work... In fact people thought we had a thing for each other. Others said they knew we were "close" but nothing ever happened. Anyway, after I called him, everything went great, he texted me first the first few times then I initiated.. He paid for all dates (4) and didnt let me pay... We had sex on the 3rd date but it felt so right Bc I knew him for so long... After sex, we talked about our feelings and that's when he told me he liked me when he first saw me 3 years ago but was too shy to say hi. Then he said when he saw me again a year later he was super excited.. He had to cancel our plans 2 days later, but he saw me the day after bc he said he didn't want to wait another week before he saw me again... I saw him 3 days after that again AND the day after that (and he was excited about that)..He said how he thinks we did everything right by waiting until he no longer works there. He's told me stuff about his family and friends, and said something along the lines of "if you ever meet my friend someday..." He cuddled with me after sex with this huge grin on his face and told me he can't get enough of me... I suggested seeing him a couple days later but he said he would see cuz he is really tired from all the times we've stayed up late together... I said okay let me know, but he never did and I never asked. I let him be. He's. never had a real relationship despite being 30... His parents have met me because they had come by work and he said they adore me.. He told me how they met, how his brother and wife met... (all at work !) I asked him why he never makes the first move sometime he said he's so shy! But it's weird cuz he's so confident at his job. He's always been there for me. He's seen me cry , laugh, Etc. We've gotten into fights and he said he loves how we can laugh after a fight... I got him this gift for his going away and he said It meant a lot to him. His friends and brother thought the same .. It's been 2 weeks since I last saw him...He was the best man in a wedding the weekend after I last saw him. Then the following weekend he went out of state with his family. A couple days after he went to the wedding, I asked him how he went and he said he had drank too much and was sick... But no mention of another date so I waited until 4 more days I asked him to dinner. We were suppose to go today but when I texted him to ask what were doing he said he had to cancel. Then I asked him if everything is ok he said yeah he has a business dinner meeting.. We chatted for a bit he asked how I was and eventually I asked when I'm seeing him next.. Now were planning for Wednesday . He told me he's been super swamped at work. And he finally started traveling so I know it's putting a damper on things and it is true. I know what he does and the demands of his new job. I should mention 2 out of the 3 dates we've been on I have initiated the texting and asking, and we had great dates . He has also had to cancel 2 times before, and I had no problem with it So maybe I am looking too much into this. I think I feel this way b/c that one week, even AFTER sex, he still wanted to see me. he was the one who said all that. I guess my expectations went up bc he said it to me. He told me his brother's now wife persued him bc his brother is shy just like him... I know they say sex too soon ruins things.. But I did get to know him on a personal level at work... and after his work ended we still went out on 3 dates, and had talked in between. Way when I first met him he would say things like marriage isn't for him... But on one of our dates he said his goal was to quit smoking before he has kids, but he already accomplished that (he quit smoking when he got the new job). And he told me he is old fashioned in that he wouldn't have kids unless he was married. . . Anyway, I don't feel like the sex was too soon... I did know him before well enough. We went on business projects together and talked about random things.. Life, family, futures, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2013
Sat, 06-01-2013 - 8:24pm

My name is Mrs Rose Smith, am from the United States .. I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until i met a special spell caster, when I contacted the person who is called heroldbudispiritualtemple@live.co.uk  to execute some business .. He's really strong .. My husband divorced me for no reason for almost 3 years and I tried everything I could to get him back cos i really love him so much but all my effort did not succeed .. we met at an early age when we were in college and we both had feelings for each other and we are happily married for 3 years with no kid and he woke up one morning, and he says he's going  to divorce me .. I thought it was a joke and when he returned from work he tender to me a divorce letter and he packed all my loads from his house .. I ran mad and I tried everything I could to get him back but all to no avail .. I was lonely for almost 3 years,until a friend of my introduced me to a spell caster Dr Herold Budi, So when I told the spell caster what happened he said he would help me and he asked for the full name and photograph .. I gave him that same day  .. At first I was skeptical but I tried to believe cos have tried so many spell casters and there were no solution.So when Dr Herold finished reading my complaints and details, he wrote back to me that my husband was with a woman and that was the main reason why he left me.The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that would bring him back.but I never believed this.he said i will see positive results within 3 days .. 3 days later,behold my husband called me himself and came to me to apologize and he said he would come back .. I could not believe it, it was like a dream cos I never believed it would work after trying many spell casters and there is no solution .. The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my womb was fertile;so i was pregnant a month later . we are now happy together again and with lovely kid .. This spell caster has really changed my life and I will forever be grateful to him .. He has helped many friends too with the same problem as well and they are happy and thankful to him .. This man is the most powerful spell caster i have ever experienced in life .. Am Posting this to the Forum in case anyone had the same problem or any problem and still looking for a
way out. . You can reach him here: heroldbudispiritualtemple@live.co.uk for any problem you have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 6:28am

How soon you have sex doesn't necessarily dictate the fate of a relationship, and as you said, you have known him for a while.  However, it almost appears as if you are the one pursuing him and now he is having second thoughts and is making himself less available, repeatedly saying that he is "shy", and coming with stories that his sister-in-law is after him.

Way when I first met him he would say things like marriage isn't for him... But on one of our dates he said his goal was to quit smoking before he has kids, but he already accomplished that (he quit smoking when he got the new job). And he told me he is old fashioned in that he wouldn't have kids unless he was married. . . 

You are making too many assumptions and extrapolating too much!  Seems like a round about way to say that you are not "the one".  And by the way, it is not old fashioned, but in general just common sense, not to have kids unless one is married.