What happened to him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2004
What happened to him?
1
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 9:57am
I have recently started talking to an ex-boyfriend. A little background info: We dated for three years when we were younger. He was my first love and I have never really gotten over him. I didn't treat him very well when we broke up, but he was still there for me and friends with me. After we broke up, he started dating a girl and was with her for six years. They had a lot of problems in their relationship and didn't get along at all. They broke up about six months ago. She has moved on and is living with this other guy. Well, since I still cared a lot for him, I decided to try and start talking to him again. It had been three years since we had spoken. We start talking casually and everything was going very well and we decided to go do something last night. We went out to eat and to the movies. Everything was great. We were getting along and talking about the past. He seemed like he was really starting to like me again. He was bringing up good memories of us and everything. He asked me if I wanted to do something tonight also. I said that I did if he didn't already have plans. So we made plans to go out tonight. When he left last night he said that he would see me tomorrow (which is today) and I said ok...are you going to call me (since we didn't decide on a time) and he said yes I'll call you. Well, it is late and he hasn't called and I haven't seen anything of him. I don't know what happened and I don't want to call him if he doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what to do. I really want this to work out and I don't want to lose him again. Please help!
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 10:27am

It sounds as though he's been through a hard time in relationships, and it makes perfect sense that he might have just gotten scared. It's understandable. Firstly, he's only recently broken up with the other woman, secondly, if he does have memories of your relationship with him, along with the good times, he must also have memories of how painful it was when you guys broke up. So, all of this is upon him now, and he's probably pulled back a bit. Don't chase him. Just let him know you care and would like to see him. Also let him know how sorry you are for what happened when you guys broke up and that you've grown a lot since then. Then give him space. He needs space and perhaps also time to integrate all that's happened. It may be too much for him to go back to you, or perhaps he'll feel he can handle it. We don't know. Only time will tell.

Go forward in your own life. It won't help anything to hang on the him if he doesn't want to be there.

Best wishes,