This is what is happening right now

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
This is what is happening right now
4
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 2:12pm

SIL wrote to me last night

"2Corinthians 12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee..."
Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

Pray to the lord, for Him to strengthen you. He will not let you (and your family) fall !
I am comforted by knowing that HE knows all the details - about everything !! "

I think it was a little weird, especially the way she caps the HE. It is almost like she is p**ed off at me for no reason.

Then last night DH asked his mom to go over to our house that we are selling and pull out a few weeds for us and also if she could plant some flowers in our garden to give it more curb appeal. MIL said no to planting flowers for us but said she would get out the weeds.

Then today I get this e-mail from MIL

happy anniversary, I got a whole bucket full of weeds from in front of your house, it looks better, and I pulled up st joesph since it is st anne's feastday, and I didn't want her to feel bad. don't worry st joesph will sell your place, and I am saving the statue for you. love mom

She had picked up a statue of St. Joseph for us as a surprise and then proceeded to bury it in our front yard. Now for some reason, she is demanding to give it to our girls and we are Navy and moving around alot. We don't want all these extra knick knacks. I think MIL is very P/A and is getting back at me in particular because DH wanted her to plant some flowers and take out a few weeds. I hope the front of our house looks o.k. I had told her we were going to have a open house this coming weekend. Now, I don't know what she is doing back over at our house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 4:35pm
Are you and your husband particularly religious? Your in-laws' behavior seems pretty creepy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 8:53pm

To your MIL and to many many others, the St. Joseph statue isn't a knick-knack. Since the 16th century, it's a belief (superstition, tradition, ritual, whatever) among I'm sure lots of people that burying a statue of St. Joseph in the front yard will help sell a house. It's different, but unlike eggbert, I don't see it as 'creepy' maybe just a little quirky or quaint. Then again, a friend threw some new coins under the floor mat of my new car (for luck). Every time I have my car detailed, I tell them to throw the coins back underneath, it's not like they bother me ;) Since you move around a lot, maybe she's thinking that if you have the statue with you, it'll help sell future houses, hey, she's just looking at the long-term, you know? ;-)

I can see her point of view in pulling weeds vs. planting flowers. It would have been nice if she had planted a few flowers, but maybe her back has been giving her a hard time and is it really all that big of a deal that she didn't plant them? I know nothing about flowers and I personally might have said no to that myself and pulled bushelsful of weeds instead, but I wouldn't see it as passive-aggressive. if you *choose* to see her in that light, that's exactly how she will appear to you. Your choice. In a year will you truly care if she palnted a few flowers or not?

As far as the Bible quotes, really, what's so wrong with them? IS there something in your life you're concerned about someone knowing the details? ;) I hope you know I'm being lightweight here, basically, I chalk that kind of stuff up to "that's them, I'm me" and let it go at that. Be a little suspicious of their intentions and motivations if you want, but I think that would interfere with your full enjoyment of life.

Best,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 7:57am

Yes, my MIL is into displaying a lot of religous items. I would display a few in a home that we own.

She has been demanding that we place a Mary statue and this new St. Joseph statue in our little girls room, but they are only toddlers and I am afraid they will knock down the heavy statues onto themselves. If we owned a house, we would put them up on a corner shelf but we are renting this year. I also find it a bit intrusive that MIl keeps carping on me to put the statues in our DDs room. I think it is up to DH and I to put things where we feel like in our home.
You are right the statue is not a knick-knakc persay, however we are trying to slim down the amount of stuff we carry with us on these big moves. I guess because she has been demanding about where we put things in our home, I would rather not receive this St. Joseph statue at this time. I thought she had bought it to help sell our house, which I agreed with. I am not sure I agree with digging it up and she will probably put back in our garden.

She is desperately searching for a big Christmas gift to give us for Christmas and gets very insecure that we will not have an adequae ideas given to her by Christmas and that she can not buy a huge gift for us as a couple. I had just told her that DH and I would like to pick out our own nativity set before Christmas and obviously she was planning on choosing one for us. I just don't like her trying to take so much control over our home and our family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 8:11pm

Unless you and your in-laws are in the habit of emailing excerpts from the bible to each othr and have the same beliefs, it is inappropriate for her to send you these if they are unwanted. I am not Christian and if I got these, I would be offended. Therefore you can either ask her to stop or send it to junk mail.

For someone to bury anything in your lawn is also intrusive and technically trespassing. She can't decide which statue, nic-nac or flowers go on your property.

Can you talk to her?