What is he really telling me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
What is he really telling me?
8
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 1:23pm
Help I have been dating this man for about 3 months. We are total opposites, I am outgoing and he even admits to being a true geek,but I have come to find him and his geeky ways really cute and attractive. Sex is realy great for the both of us. I have even given in to playing video games with him and found it to be quite fun. We live only a few apartment buildings away from one another though we didn't know that until our 3rd date. Now here's where my confusion comes in. At first we saw one another on friday and saturday nights now it is only on Saturday due to the fact that he spends friday with his 14 y/o son (he's a great dad). We either go out to dinner and a movie or before I quit drinking(because he's a 2 or 3 beer drinker at most)we would hang at a bar with my friends, but the best times are the nights where we spend the night in having dinner and watching movies. Always ending with amazing sex, where I feel really connected to him in those moments. He makes me breakfast every Sunday morning and lunch if I'm still there at that time. He trully makes me feel quite wonderful. So why is it that he doesn't call during the week or ever suggest we get together any week day nights? He has been in the Air Force for 20 years and is in a supervisory position that requires a weekly flight mission in which he must prepare for with adequete sleep being a priority before each flight, but that is just once a week. Am I making to much of this or am I missing the obvious? Should I just enjoy the time we do spend together instead of focusing on the time that we don't spend together. I really like him and want this to work. Help me please. Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 2:15pm

Welcome to the board lizawaz,


I think the questions you have about your relationship is a good one, but I think you need to have the conversation with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 2:54pm
Why don't you suggest getting together during the week? Or call him during the week?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 4:13pm

Welcome lizawaz2007,


I agree with Carrie. You need to talk to him about this. While you are having dinner some night tell that you would like to spend a little more time with him and you understand he has to get a good nights sleep for the flights, etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 9:51pm
Well now I know why I decided to come to this web site for advice. I did call him and go over to his place ( made up excuse) and we have a date for tomorrow night that he initiated and even went as far as to ensure that Sat night was good to go as well. He was trully excited to see me and was even disappointed that I had to leave (for my made up plans. Thanks for all I needed was a little boost and a reminder that I am worth it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 10:25am

Glad we could help. Sounds like things are going very good between the two of you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 11:44am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:58pm

I think now would be a good time to find out what he's looking for 'in general'. Does he ever want to get married (not necessarily to YOU, but ever?). Does he even WANT to find someone to have a relationship with?

These are good questions so that you can see how his answers line up with what YOU want, again, not necessarily with eachother, but with anyone.

Have you discussed exclusivity yet? It may be soon for that - just wondering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 4:09pm
It's only been 3 months, but we have discussed a few things in regards to what each of us want. At 40 I have to admit that I am not into dating more than one man at a time when there is sex. We discussed that and we are both seeing only each other at this time. I really have to admit that I find this man so exciting that I am looking for all the help I can get so that I do not self destruct this relationship as I have all the others before him. So Thank you!!