What is he thinking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
What is he thinking?
1
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 2:01am
So I have been dating my BF for about 8 months now. He has always called me nightly when he gets home from work and then I would go up to his place on the weekends. (he lives about 1.5 hours away from me) About a month ago he out of the blue told me while I was at his place that he "needed space". He had no explanation just said he needed to think about some things and that he had to figure out what he wants in the future. So he doesn't call me for over a week. I finally contacted him and told him I would be coming up to his place while he was at work one day to get the rest of my stuff that was still at his house. He immediatly called me when he got the message and told me that he didn't want to quit seeing me but that he just needs to slow things down a little. I agreed since we did move very quickly and I feel/felt that we were good together so I wanted to respect his need. So we started hanging out again and once again he was calling me nightly and he was coming to my place or we were meeting half way. Well he is at his folks home for the next week and I have not heard from him in 4 days. His parents love me and I have even spent time with his family on numerous occasions including a trip to their place a couple of months ago. I doubt he would be hiding that fact that he is talking to me. I just can't figure out what is going on. I know he is busy doing things with them and all but I travel for business and every single time I was on a business trip I always made the time for a quick phone call to him even if it was a quick 5 minute conversation. I don't expect him to call and talk for hours like we do when he is home but at this point I am not even sure he made it to his folks house. I would have hoped that he would have called me at least once just to say hi and see how things are going. I feel like he is not respecting me and that he is taking advantage of the fact that we are slowing things down. What do you all think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 8:24am

Hi,
It is hard, but you need to back off. He told you he wanted to slow things down, you need to give him some space, let him figure out what he needs to. Don't contact him, let him contact you. If you push it, you will only push him farther away. Just because you called him while you were on trips, doesn't mean that he feels the same way about keeping in touch.
And I am sure if he didn't make it you would know.

Take some time for yourself, do nice things for yourself. Concentrate on YOU while he is taking some space. Maybe he will miss you and realize what he has. If it is meant to be it will be. Hope it gets better for you.