What is he thinking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
What is he thinking?
3
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:17am
hello. i've been with bt for almost 2 years now. as any couple, we have out moments at times but he always made the initiative to make peace first. for example, he would drive up to my school at the end of the week and drive me home since i do not live at home during the weedays due to school. or he would come over to my house during the weekend while i'm still asleep to surprise me. or he would call or leave messages at my cell phone even when it is turned off. but now, it's been a week now but nothing. no messages, no visits. and even when i see him online, he would not say anything. he eve logged off AIM.

what is he trying to do here? has he moved on? is this a fight or a break up? this is so strange. it's the first time he acted like this, so nonchalant and oblivious. he often tells me that "no matter what happens" that his "love for me is always the same." but i'm thinking his actions do not show that. is he ready to give up on me already? he's ready to let go?

please let me know your opinion. i'm desperatly in need of some different pont of view.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:55am
For whatever reason he needs a break. Maybe he is getting really close and it scares him and he needs time to be sure.

Maybe there is something he sees in you that he doesn't like for the long term and he doesn't know how to tell you.

Maybe he is not ready for a longterm relationship. You don't state your age but since you bring up school I assume you are both very young.

At any rate, there is nothing you can do. Trying to persuade him will not work. You must give him time.

Try to find other things to do in the mean time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 10:25am
He is being a coward by not communicating to you what he is doing. He should let you know if he needs a break or wants to break up. If he does want you back, talk to him about what he did and how it affected you and left you hanging.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 2:31pm
I must agree with west. Sometimes in longterm relationships you go through phases where you are not sure whether or not its what you want, or you may question different aspects of the relationships at which point one usually does need space. It is also depending on your age as well when dealing with a two year relationship. Basically, ask. If he wants space and you are willing to do so, then give it to him. It will be hard, but it may be beneficial for you both. If he doesnt give you a clear answer. Then its on you. Either you can move on, or just lay back meaning dont give him the pleasure of a call let him call, come see you, him make the first moves. If he doesnt, perhaps you will further have an answer of what you need to do about this relationship.