what the heck is going on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
what the heck is going on?
2
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:27pm
Tim and I have been "seeing" each other for the last year. We have had ups and a few hard downs but we always manage to get back together. T will not commit to a realtionship and that is fine with me but after the last time we fought 2 months ago we have had sex only twice. He said that sex in our realtionship only makes things more complicated. He thinks that we need to take things slower and back track. I don't get it. we spend everyday together and have good times. In fact he is taking me out of State to meet his father this month. I want him all the time (sexually) and it seems like he has lost intrest in me. I feel like he is the female in the realtionship with the "perpetual" headach and I am the guy who would do almost anything to get laid. Help! I am so very confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 3:43pm
amanda...

Tim is no dummy. He knows that with a little encouragement...you're ready to give him anything he wants (sexual or otherwise)! The last thing he's gonna do is encourage you or make you feel that your relationship is headed somewhere.

Problem is...YOU think it is! Or at least YOU want it to be something solid.

Try taking 30 days off...with no communication at all. This way...Tim will have an opportunity to see what it's like when things are R-E-A-L-L-Y S-L-O-W!

The question is...Can YOU handle this type of separation for 30 days? I could be mistaken, but it doesn't sound like you can!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 4:57pm
Well Amanda, Tim likes the fact that you want him all the time. He also likes the fact that he has all the benefits of a committed relationship without the actual commitment.

I would talk to him in depth about where this is going. For one thing, if you both are in this relationship mainly for the sex - then HELLO whats going on? Another thing, even in a relationship - both people should be happy with the amount and the type of sex your having.

Sounds kinda funny to me - you need to talk RATIONALLY to Tim - find out where this is going. Then you need to take some time and decide what you want.

I second PionaGuys advice about a "leave of absence" from each other - 30 days might be pushing it - but I would try it.

PlayNICE

 

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