What is the problem?
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| Thu, 06-03-2004 - 4:03pm |
Well anyway about 3 weeks ago she stated out of the blue that she didnt want me to live with her and that she had asked her friends "when do you know" if the person is the right one and they told her you just do. She said she wasn't sure if I was "the one" and wanted time because she felt her feelings changing. I told her (for the first time) that I saw myself marrying her and she was a bit taken aback and she said that she wished I had told her that a few months ago. She said she wanted to get married (didnt say to me or not) and also said she was thinking that she would like to have children(when we first started dating she had said that she didnt think she did) She said she could be making the biggest mistake of her life but needed to figure things out. She said that she felt as if she was loosing her identity and needed more time with her friends and family. I told her I didnt want to make her be with me and then moved most of my things into a friends house.
Since the breakup we talked a few days later and she said she was still attracted to me, cared about me, and that I was one of her best friends. I have seen quite a few of her friends in the last few weeks (some she has known 20years) and they say openly to me quite a few things: that I was the most serious guy she had dated, that they all thought I was the one, that she has bailed out of relationships before at the first sign of problems, that her reasons make no sense and are things she should have just talked to me about, and that as she starts hearing that she is making a mistake she is building up a wall.
I am thoroughly confused as to what I should or shouldn't be doing. I love this woman with all my heart and having been in two other serious relationships have a very good idea of what it takes and what I want in a person. Any insight into this would be greatly appreciated and I'm sorry this is so long.

It sounds to me like you spent too much time together and had too much drama and she got overwhelmed.