What to say?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
What to say?
2
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 7:28pm
I was doing laundry this afternoon and I hung up my boyfriend's work shirt on the clothesline. I noticed that there was a lipstick stain on the collar of the shirt that did not come off in the washing machine. It is in the front part of the collar. The last time he wore it was Saturday night and he went out for a drink after work with his co-workers. He called me to tell me where he was going and he was home right when he said he would be.

I don't think he is cheating on me and I have met all his co-workers. I am not a jealous person either but finding this would make the wheels in anyone's head start turning. I want to say something about it but I don't want to do it in a way where he will become defensive. We don't argue at all so I am not about to start one. There may be an innocent reason why the lipstick is on his collar. But maybe not. He is at work tonight so I have time to think about it.

What does everyone think about this? Would you be mad or upset? How would you go about bringing it up?

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 7:48pm
rdecemberrelay...

Have you considered the possibility that your b/f may have "brushed" against somebody at the bar? .

There's also the possibility that your b/f might have encountered someone else's g/f who was a little drunk and got...err...kissy-collared with him?

Why not let this incident go? The time to start worrying is if you discover lipstick stains on his trousers, socks or underwear! Then you've DEFINITELY got an issue or two to discuss with him!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 1:50am
I think she is perfectly justified in being worried about lipstick on his collar. PLEASE I'm sure he went into such a crowded bar that some girls mouth happen to be smashed RIGHT on his collar. Sure. And if someones girlfriend got drunk and started trying to kiss him...what? As if he can't just pull away or walk away. I guess by some long shot it could be just a mistake (although those options seem very hard to come by) he definately could have been kissing someone. I don't think you should START worrying when you see lipstick on his pants. The girls who wait that long to worry got cheated on a long time ago and were too...well too something to realize it.


It might be innocent like you say, it might not. I think you can calmly ask him about it. Just ask him without saying "who have you been kissing" but you know, you have every right to ask him about it. Then just keep your eyes open. I mean, don't go snooping around and suspecting him of everything, but you can just look for changes in him, weird hours...more lipstick. But yeah, don't just start pointing fingers. Just ask. Good luck!