What to say? When you are ready to date
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What to say? When you are ready to date
| Sun, 04-18-2004 - 7:10am |
I was married for 20 years. I have 3 children. Hey we had good times - we had bad times. My son had kidney cancer, my daughter had a heart/lung bypass. With stresses like that its a wonder he didn't leave earlier. Well, I've been to a wonderful counselor this past year since the breakup. She says I'm done with therapy unless I really need her at times. Kids are doing great. They go to kids connection. They are happy about my dating. Which leads me to my question. What do you tell a guy that you go out with a couple of times when he says: "I have some concerns because you are still in the early stages of freedom. I think you are great and your kisses are wonderful, but I am thinking and thinking...... " Is it right that I'm a little put off by this? Its not like I spent the whole date talking about my ex. Quite the contrary. I don't want to talk about him because I want to talk about new things in my life. (Like going to nursing school, sports, ....) And after a couple of dates its not like I was asking him to go steady!! In fact he was the one that ask me out on another date. How will you know you're ready to date if you NEVER DATE? Plus, he's not my first date, but I'm not going to talk about that either with him on a date. I'm thinking HE IS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. What do you think?

Consider it this way, he is showing you who he is, if its not something you like, just tell him nicely that while you enjoyed being with him, he is seeing something more than there is. Therefore, you think it best to not date anymore.
Or if you are not sure, go out again - usually with people like this, it is evident very quickly that they are not right for us, but sometimes you just need to see it for sure.
Best wishes.
Toni
:"I have some concerns because you are still in the early stages of freedom. I think you are great and your kisses are wonderful, but I am thinking and thinking...... "
Thank you for your honest reply. (don't explain yourself or defend yourself) And cross him off your list. If someone is really interested, they will ask what steps you've taken to heal. Or would at least ask you what *dating* means to you.
Carrie