What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
What should I do?
15
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 12:48pm

Hello,


I am DESPERATE!!! My husband and I have a HUGE argument about the topic masturbation.
It's something we can't talk about, because one time when

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 8:03pm

"If you are ok with toeing the line, then stay--I'm sure things will get back to "normal" soon.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 8:52pm
Yes, I'm sure he stonewalls her on other issues as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 8:14am

>>Yes, I'm sure he stonewalls her on other issues as well. <<



Or she could be driving him nutty on other issues as well ...and he over reacted on this one due to built up frustration.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 8:50am

I have to say... I do not blame him for being upset. Masturbation is a really personal topic, and to continue to ask him about it and insist that he not lie to you about it is assuming that he IS doing something wrong and telling him that you need to be involved in it at all times if he's ever going to do it.

I would be really angry if someone made me feel that way. Yes he is acting very strongly, but if he's been feeling this way for a while then it's a lot of pent-up frustration coming to the surface now.

I'm sure what he's feeling is a mixture of embarrassment and anger. You really pushed his buttons.

"I am hopeless. I love him so much and can't be without him. Wednesday before the argument, he told me, that he loves me...last week, he told me, that he is happy. And all that changed from one second to the next? How can that happen? HOW?????"
He's in a bad mood. People feel different things based on what mood they are in.

Don't push him into counseling. Don't bring him food or try to cater to him. Don't be all over him telling him you love him. He's pissed off right now and if he comes back to you then it will be because he decided it on his own, not because he was cajoled. I don't think that tactic will do anything but drive him away.

Let him sleep on the couch until his mind is made up. It's likely that he will come around once the embarrassment and frustration wears off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 1:42pm

It seems that he is not a demonstrative person and does not open up so easily.

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