what should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
what should I do?
12
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:22am
I've been with my bf 6 months now. Sometimes he jokingly calls me names. For example, to put it in nicer terms he will call me the "b" word referring to a "mean girl" or another "b" word referring to a girl who is not so prudish. This has been going on for 3 months. Sometimes he does this around his kids which really bothers me. Not just because it is foul language, but because it makes me look bad. I told him I don't like it and that it makes me uncomfortable, especially around his children....I've already given up on trying to get him to change the way he talks all together. He really does curse a lot. He also "jokingly" calls me things such as "nitwit" or "ditz". I don't like this at all and I have given up on trying. But I do love him and want things to work out between us. I just don't know what to say or do to make him realize that this is not appropriate. Is there anything I can do to make this work or should I get out?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 3:23pm

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Wow. That sounds pretty sadistic. If the situation were reversed, and your partner told you that your actions hurt them, wouldn't you try to change? And if you chose not to, what would that say about you?

So, I'm going to go back to my original question: why would you want to stay with someone who hurts you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:44pm
I guess I was living in a fantasy world. I was looking through rose colored glasses. Seeing only the good in our relationship. Last night we had our talk, and when he refused to admit to being wrong I ended the relationship. But today he called and now I dont know what to do. I feel like I've gotten myself back into something that I should have stayed out of. Why stay with him? Maybe I wasnt standing up for myself enough and me walking out made him realize that I'm very serious about whats going on.

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