What should I do?
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| Sun, 09-21-2008 - 10:21pm |
Okay, I'm not sure if this is where I should post or not but here goes....
Anyone that's seen me posting around knows the basic background here; my boyfriend and I have been in a distance/online relationship for 11 months now and we finally met at the beginning of August, much to my family's chagrin. In the beginning and middle of our relationship, he's broken up with me three times and we've been apart for maybe three days, then gotten back together. Since the last time, things have gone great. he's really affectionate and treats me like a queen.
So this is my problem. Tuesdays through Thursdays I have to stay in town to do my schoolwork; I can stay with my uncle every couple weeks, not too often, but the rest of the time I spend with my three guy friends I've known since last year. I don't have ANY female friends in the area, I don't get along well with other women... so of course my bf is wary of their intentions.
Well, Tuesday night I gave him a reason not to trust them... I got a slight buzz and the list of events follows as thus:
1- I changed in front of them. Didn't get naked but I did change across the room, mostly because their reactions were damn funny to watch. They froze mid-pellet gun war and stared like a pair of owls.
2- Ben decided to squirt chocolate all over Nick in his second attempt that night to get me too fool around with him. After some resistance I got pissed off and just to shut them off I gave him two licks and then wiped the rest off with a paper towel.
3- While I was distracted they flipped a coin to see who'd spank me and Ben won. Then stupid me let him spank me hard.
Obviously, I wasn't thinking all night and it was just... total stupidity. The other two days I stayed with the guys I made sure to avoid any conversation that could remotely lead to a situation like those again, and I feel absolutely horrible. Even though when Ben locked me in Nick's room with the light off, all I did was talk to Nick about his own relationship problems until I got a viable excuse to escape (Colten texting me to tell me to get the virus off of his computer).
And by the way, I've already sworn to myself and to my boyfriend, I'm never, ever doing something like that again.
But I digress.... my problem is that, obviously, when I told my boyfriend he was understandably shocked and doesn't want me to go over to the guys' apartment again, even though he knows I have no choice and will have to eventually. As I mentioned before I can omly stay with my uncle once in a while.
But my parents are pressuring me to save up for a car, instead of the visit I planned for my birthday; and this makes it a lot harder because I want to talk to my boyfriend face to face about it, IM's only work so well. I know I have to get my priorities straight but I don't want to screw this up again, and I know he wants to see me still in November. What can I do to make things right? Please help!

Welcome to this board sanguinejackal,
The obvious is to stop drinking and stay away from Ben and Nick.
::distance/online relationship for 11 months now and we finally met at the beginning of August, much to my family's chagrin. In the beginning and middle of our relationship, he's broken up with me three times and we've been apart for maybe three days, then gotten back together. Since the last time, things have gone great. he's really affectionate and treats me like a queen.
Ok, so you met him face-to-face 6-8 weeks ago? How often have you seen him since then?
Unfortunately I can't totally avoid Nick and Ben, BUT I am renewed in keeping myself under control and away from drinking, as well as away from any situations that could lead to a repeat.
I haven't seen him since, and it's awful. I have enough to see him but like I said, I have to save for a car. He says he's willing to sit on a bus for a few days to come see me (which is more uncomfortable and dangerous than a plane, as well as just as expensive) though I'd prefer he took the plane; however, he needs a passport to fly here in the States and it's still being processed.
What I meant by the 'affectionate' comment is that he is talking to me more, compliments me a bit more, and is just sweeter than ever in general. (He's one of the 'sensitive types' so he can be almost scarily sweet. I was raised to expect guys to be total @$$holes.)
I'd see him more often but my mother won't let me, once again back to the car thing. Even though it's my money and I technically can do what I want with it, she won't have it.
I am thinking bussing my bf down here and staying with him in the hotel is the only way to see him, because my stepdad refuses to let him stay here or at my grandparents' and we can't drive the 50 miles to town for me to see him every day.
And by the way, he and I have made up; he's talking to me regularly again and isn't short with me (I can't blame him!), and I'm really glad it's sort of blown over. He believed me when I said I will NOT let it happen again.
If you can't totally avoid Ben and Nick than you need to limit your contact with them to as little as possible.
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