What should I do?
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What should I do?
| Fri, 01-16-2004 - 11:29pm |
Hi everyone, im new here. I'm 21 and live in Saskatchewan Canada. I met a great guy online 5 years ago from Vermont, USA. He's 27 and a very sweet guy. We still live apart and only see each other 2 or 3 times a year, if that! But we're engaged now and he's decided to take a motorcycle course in Florida in March. He wants me to move down there with him.(he's actually wanted me to move in with him long before that). The problem is the last few times I've seen him in person all we've done is argue. I'm still highly attracted to him but my sex drive is almost 0 and he always wants some. I feel terrible saying no. So I'm afroad to move to Florida with him since I'll always feel obligated to have sex. He never pressures me, but when we don't have sex I can see how dissappointed he looks. There is also another problem. I am such a mama's girl. Her and I are the best of friends and I can't imagine being over 2500 miles away from her and my other family and friends, whereas my soon to be hubby has his family close by. I will also have to immigrate which scares the hell out of me since I'm a very patriotic canadian (due to our medical system, i can't afford health care in the US!). Sorry for rambling on but I have so much on my mind and just can't figure out what to do. SOmeone please help!

Carrie
Sometimes love is not enough - and if you met five years ago, this is possibly the only man you've been serious about - and again, if you are arguing already, it's not a good sign. Find somebody closer to home, have some fun, go out and date a bunch of different guys - you are still young and there are many people out there to experience and meet.
There are also practical considerations like how you would survive financially if he wants to do this motorcycle course - who will pay the bills? I know, being a greencard holder myself, that getting one, whether you're engaged - or married, is NOT easy - there will be periods where you will be unable to work and unable to leave the country, it's not fun - think how depressing it would be if you were not working, not getting along with your fiance, yet unable to go home?
Trust me, as painful as it will be, moving on will be the better option in the long run - In my opinion.
I wish you well.
Peace - Pebbles