What should I do? Unrespectfull Husband
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What should I do? Unrespectfull Husband
| Fri, 05-18-2007 - 12:12pm |
I´ve been married for 4 years and have 2 kids. My husband can be wonderful and loving when he wants to be. I accept that I´m disorganized and messy, but I´m working on this so the house is in order. He gets upset when he find things that are´nt in order or disorganized, but the problem is that he does not control himself, he starts shouting and cursing me, even in front of the kids. He hardly ever apologizes for his behavior, because he feels he is right. This makes me sad, and I feel we have drifted apart. What should I do?

Marriage counseling or you and your babies LEAVE!
Verbal abuse should not be tolerated and that is what he is doing and you are ALLOWING your children to see it! I am speaking from experience, I lived in it all my life, physical and verbal abuse from my father, my mother allowed us to stay there, and now I can't stand him.
If he is going to continue to yell and cuss, what eles has he done? Has he ever been physical with you? What would happen if he did?
Remember, childhood leads to adult hood. What type of adulthood do you want your children to have? I know parents fuss, but no one should be yelling and cursing in front of the kids.
Mechelle
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I agree...Counseling.
I, too, have been in this situation (still am, but working on it). He never thought about it as 'abuse' until I used the label in front of a counselor. My H only thinks there is one kind of abuse, physical, the rest is made up in our minds. I'm the only person he would ever speak to like this. (because I let him) He would never, ever, speak to his father, co-workers, friends, etc. in the tone he uses with me, let alone the swearing and name calling. Again, I let him get away with it. Now I stand up for myself. I tell him it's unacceptable to speak to me that way.
He did start seeing a counselor and finally realized he has an anger mgmt problem. We have other problems that go beyond this, hence the 'ease' of him being able to speak to me like this. I wish I had a tape recorder so he could hear himself. I truly believe he has no idea what he sounds like. I know he doesn't think he is nearly as bad as I say he is.
If you let it go, you will end up resenting him. Unfortunately, that's where I am now. I don't know if I can come back from this. In his minds, words are not worse than action. I disagree. It hurts - a lot! He has been better since he started counseling. In my situation, I'm not sure it's enough. But if you are still in love with him, tell him how much this is hurting you and your relationship, and that you will not tolerate this behavior and invite him to see a counselor. He needs to know that this is abuse and it needs to stop.
All the best to you!
Much love to my four little angels
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I agree with the others who have posted in suggesting that you