What would you do.... any opnion counts?
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 07-04-2007 - 3:39am |
I am 21 yrs old and have been seriously dating to a 20 years old guy for almost 2 yrs now. We are happily in love and we don't have any major issues. We trust each other. And my problem is not him, it's me.
Before I met him I was talking to this guy I met at a party. He was cute and also nice. I decided to date my now bf back then and decide to stay friend with the guy I met before my bf. I haven't hang out with him since I started dating my bf. We would talk on line or text message. Things are on platonic level with a little bit of flirting.
fast forward... He ask me to come hang out with his friends and him. He'd been asking me since we meet. He'd never ask me to go on date on anything. Just to hang out. I'd always say No because I am afriad my bf would get jealous. He doesn't know the guy personally. He only met him once.
I want to hang out with the guy because I consider him to be my friend. But deep down, I am attracted to the guy but I don't want to ruin the perfect relationship I have.
Does people attracted to other people aside from their significant others? I think it's normal to be attracted to someone but don't follow with action is normal right?
confused,
ukia

Sure it's normal to be attracted to someone, but if you really loved and appreciated your boyfriend, you wouldn't be consciously putting yourself in a position where temptation could overwhelm you. You say don't hang out with this guy because it would make your boyfriend jealous, but it sounds like he would have every right to be... and I think you are really afraid that something would happen with him. While you might be interested in innocently seeing where things go with your guy friend, eventually it will lead to a place where you are cheating on your boyfriend.
If you really love this guy, you will either be able to have a completely platonic (flirting is not platonic) friendship with this guy, or else you will realize that you need to sever that friendship to keep yourself from ruining your relationship.
You are right. It is just lately that I keep on think what if's. I would never do anything to hurt my bf. I love him. How do i stop thinking that grass is always greener on the other side?
Thanks for your advice, it helps.
ukia
It is perfectly normal to be attracted to other people, even when you are in a wonderful, happy relationship. Attractions come and go. However, if you value the relationship and don't want to endanger it, it's best not to spend time with someone you're attracted to. Sometimes people pretend that they can be friends with a person they're drawn to. This is playing with fire. They are making an excuse to themselves for being with that person. Very often things heat up, and before they know it, they may be in over their head. So, it's best not to go hang out with this guy. If you love and care for your present boyfriend, and want to keep the relationshipo solid, then keep your distance from this fellow.
Best wishes,
Save Your Relationship: The 21 Basic Laws Of Successful Relationships
Change The Way Women Think About Men and Find Out What Men Really Think About Relationships
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Thanks for your help. :)
It helps me keep it straight in my head.