What would you do if you found this

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
What would you do if you found this
7
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 3:14pm

Me an my husband have been having problems for the past year. I have found bad text messages on his cell phone and asked him to stop talking to this girl. So he did. Then I found out he was hiding another girl and she was 18 years old and he is 25. I believe he met her on the internet. So I asked to talk to her and he let me she told me they were friends and they just talk. So I would sneak and look on his phone at night and there was never anything bad that I found. But he was also calling and calling her. So I asked him to stop and he said he would and he didn't. So I put an end to it and blocked her number. His texting was getting out of control he was talking to her 24\7 and I was uncomfortable with it. So I ended it and she was mad and he was mad but he got over it. She didn't though she would write bad stuff about me on her myspace and e-mail me. Well recently I went on his old myspace. He hasn't been on it in a year but I wanted to see what was on there. And so and behold there was a message from her that said:


I think your wife need to know the truth about you. You think you can text me bad and rude messages so I am going to tell her the truth:


1 I f***ed your husband multiple times and we told you we were just friend when we weren't


2 I met him on a teen chat center on the internet


3 he is talking to my friend cortny and telling her that he wants to get down her pants and that he wants to divorce you and go with her.


You are a bad person my husbands name and you need to rote in hell!!


So I don't know if I should believe this or just let it go. I have shown him it and he says she is just mad at me cause I cut of there communication. I just find it weird that is suddenly comes up 3 months after I cut off there communication. I have chosen to believe my husband over an 18 year old girl who wants to ruin someone's marriage. I do believe there is some truth to what she says I don't believe that he cheated on me. I do believe he has met her and met her in a chat center. He did show me his phone to prove there is not cortny in his cell. I know he could have changed the name but there is no warning and no time to do it. I have been keeping and eye on when he is texting and trying to see who it is. He says he is not lying to me anymore and that I should believe him. I have a hard time with that and he seems to be understanding a little now. Would you believe you husband over some girl? Let me know what you think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 3:44pm
In a situation like this you should try to look at the totality of his actions to determine if something is going on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 5:27pm

He's already a liar and a cheat. It shouldn't be too surprising that you're finding more evidence of cheating and lying behavior.

He also associates with apparently the dumbest girls on the planet, if this one actually graduated from high school then I'm going to start voting for more public school funding.

No I would not believe my husband, who has lied about talking to teenagers before, over the instinct that he was probably continuing the same behavior. Liars who get caught just figure out better ways of lying.

Here's where I'm getting the bulk of my opinion by the way:
"I asked him to stop and he said he would and he didn't. So I put an end to it and blocked her number."
The one who put an end to it was you, when the person who NEEDED to end it was him. It's great that you took the step to ending his infidelity (and yes, it was infidelity!), but I think you two need marriage counseling if you want to continue. I also think you two need to have less of a social presence on the internet. I know how it feels to be made crazy by myspace, facebook etc - the most cathartic way to deal with it is to get rid of any profile you have on any networking site. Seriously, those sites just suck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 7:58pm
I think your husband is not committed to your marriage. He had no business meeting teenage girls in any form, or talking to them, emailing, etc at all, let alone 24/7. He is
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 12:05pm

As soon as I read that she told you they are just talking I knew that is what he told her to say. He probably also tells her and his other teenage fans

Avatar for girlyone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 7:01pm

Been there and DUMPED that. I am telling you now froma person who has been exactly there--children or not MOVE ON. This man is only going to get worse-In fact I would bet money that he DID in fact sleep with her and probably others you are totally unaware of.


What would you do if your sister told you this story?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Mon, 08-25-2008 - 12:02pm
I agree with what the others have said. At the outset, no, I wouldn't believe what some girl had to say about my husband, but given such a mounting pile of evidence that he's not to be trusted, I would personally be ending the relationship. Ultimately, only you know what's going on and only you can decide whether it's the end or not.


_________________________________________________


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-25-2008 - 6:37pm

Welcome to the board jbeebe323,


I'm sorry you are going through this and I just wanted to welcome you to the board.


I also agree with the others - your husband's behavior is inppropriate.