whats the difference??
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whats the difference??
| Tue, 03-16-2004 - 5:09pm |
....between "loving" somebody and "being in love with" somebody? Clarification will be greatly appreciated!
| Tue, 03-16-2004 - 5:09pm |
That feeling can be recalled if worked at by two people.
Loving someone - everyone loves someone, cares about them, what happens to them, their well-being - like our parents, siblings, children, even a close friend.
satia says it best with this:
Even someone who has love, who is in a solid relationship which has been fulfilling, may find themselves longing for the romance of the first flush of being in love. The first kiss. The first touch. The first sexual encounter. These intense feelings which cause the palms to sweat, the butterflies in the stomach to flutter, etc. All of this that we call "being in love."
Which is how a married woman who has never thought of cheating can easily find her hands trembling as she tries to type a message to the stranger in her email who is "just a friend." Or she may seek excuses to see the handsome coworker who is flirting with her and complimenting her outfit, which her husband hasn't even noticed is new nor any new outfit in years.
It is that feeling, that transient emotion, which we seek because we confuse this with love . . .
Real love is work. Sweaty and not pretty. It is sitting by a person's bedside in a hospital and wiping their nose when they are weeping hysterically with grief. It is moving above and beyond the flutters and blushes and into a comfort zone in which even those who are most in love occasionally will take one another for granted. It means giving 100% of yourself to a relationship you sometimes question, doubt, and even resent. But you still love through those times until . . .
one day you turn to this person you have loved for years and your stomach flutters, your palms sweat, and you blush at the very thought of his kiss on your lips.
The problem isn't being in love with love . . . the problem is thinking that the feeling is love.
Carrie