what's a girl to do?
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what's a girl to do?
| Wed, 08-11-2004 - 5:17pm |
ok, i'm new to this paticular board, and i have an issue, or maybe a thought, or maybe it's just a question on right or wrong. my fiance and i both go onto the yahoo chat and chat with people in the body art rooms. we botch share the same "friends" on there. we talkto the same people and they all know we are together. when people come into the chat rooms, they play around with each other. with me, it never becomes sexualy oriented. but recently my fiance has not only talked to a few of the friends of ours that are women, sexualy, he's watched a webcam of one of them "flashing" their breasts. he says it's all in play and that they know it too and he says it's just him trying to get a "rise" out of them, just messing around. but it bothers me, downright pisses me off that he would go on here and say things like that to these other women. originaly i caught him doing this, otherwise he wouldn't have told me about the first time he saw what he did and said the thngs he said. after that, he no longer keeps it a secret exactly. i mean, the only time he'll tell me about what was said and what he saw, is if i am talking to that paticular person myself. and he always says it's just in fun, nothing intended but it still bothers me. and i'm told he doesn't want me to talk that way to a guy on the chat room or see their webcam if they decide to show off themselves. it's likea doublestandard of " i can do it but you can't" is this an ok thing for him to do? am i right to be upset? what the heck can i say to him that will make him listen to me and stop? we jsut get into an arguement over it normaly. i'm seriously mad and hurt by this. and i hope this was the right place to come to. thanks for reasding this!!

Sheri
Edited 8/11/2004 7:46 pm ET ET by itwinflame
Carrie
Sheri
If he doent understand that - LEAVE HIM
I guess what im saying is that its not an ok thing to do if it bothers you and hurts you,plus if he loves you and cares about you he should know that doing this,and also the fact that he let you find out urself instead of telling you would hurt you because of how much you trust him,and yes u r right to be upset,ur in a relationship it should only be u and him doing things like that 2gether on a computer not him and another woman.
I think you should have another word with him and make him see that what he is doing isnt right and tell him how all of this is making you feel.You shouldnt have to keep checking up on him and he shouldnt be keeping things from you .
If he really does want to be in this relationship and really does care about your feelings then the next time you have a word he will stop and focus more on ur relationship if not its obvious he doesnt care.
But try not to worry this is something every guy will try in a relationship or not its more likely just a guy thing ,Usually guys just get the urge to do something and they do it without thinking about the consequences or how it makes people feel.
I think that talkin to him about it would be the best option because the only other way would be for him not to chat to those women anymore but i doubt that would be any good .
Just try not to get to upset and hurt over this ,its something guys do without thinking and i doubt he wanted to hurt you. Also you could tell him you dont want her on his yahoo list anymore just incase she tries to do naything like that again.(or ask which evers best to make him listen to u and understand)
Hope i helped,
Good luck
Jade
He'll learn the hard way that it is not okay to act like he does.