Whats goin on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Whats goin on?
1
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 10:26pm
Can anyone explain to me, or help me rather identify the diference between someone who is losing interest in a relationship and someone who is fine, happy and content in the relationship?

I've been with my b/f for around 9 months, I'm having a hard time understanding the state of our relationship. It's semi-long distance, he drives here to see once a week or more which is nice but at the same time it's not all that great because I think it puts some walls up between us because we don't have friends in common or things like that. Anyhow, there has been many changes in my life throughout our relationship, he's having some changes himself like looking for a new job because he's so unhappy with the one hes in now. I'm insecure but I trust him, I don't call him all day or keep tabs on him and neither does he. Sometimes I'm pretty sure of our relationship and other times like now, I feel like there is something wrong. I'm not exactly sure how to approach this. We're not really phone people, and I don't want to write an email to him about this. When we are together I get frustrated because I don't know how to ask him how he's feeling about us. We have good times when we're together but we're both shy about our feelings, our relationship has been growning in many aspects but not in others.

I guess what I'm asking is a few things... what does a guy do when hes working his way out of a relationship with a girl he's said could be 'the one' and how does a shy girl open up and start this topic with the boy she's in love with.

please be gentle

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 12:15am
I kind of know how you feel... I used to be really shy around my bf and now I am very open ... for the most part around him... anyways... I'm only 19 but I know a lot for my age about relationships. If you plan on staying in a relationship with this guy you're gonna have to establish some good solid communication between each other at some point in time. I started out by just bringing up little stuff such as dreams aspirations, goals, family, friends, etc. I eventually got myself built up to where I finally got the guts to talk to him about me. It doens't have to be awkward even though it may feel that way. Find a place where you feel confortable like maybe in the bedroom or your den somewhere where you know you won't be disturbed and where you two can be alone. I would then brng up the fact that you do love him but you need to know how he feels about you. So you can see where your relationship is going. I know I'm young but this is how I handled my guy (and I have been with him for 4 years now and now I'm not afraid to talk to him about anything). I hope this helps some though. Good luck girly. =)