What's going on here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
What's going on here?
1
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 4:21pm
Hello everyone. This is my situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 and 1/2 years now. He is 31 and I am 26. It's been a very rocky road. Everything has been going really good now though. For the last year everything had been good and we had talked about getting married when I get out of school in 2 years. (going back for a bachelor's degree). I had thought that we could get engaged now and have 2 years to plan. Instead he has given me lots of excuses. Everything from he's not ready, to me being in school. He still lives at home and hasn't been actively looking for a place to live. He has been hanging out with single younger guys and girls. He doesn't want to hang out with his friends that are the same age and married. The other night we were talking and I brought up that one of our friend couples were talking about getting married. He said "They'll get married the same time that we do". I said when's that. He said "In may, you know..may the day never happen." I was shocked. We didn't talk for a little while then I said something about it and he say yeah we'll get married someday maybe, but I don't know when. What has happened? Is he just not happy with me or what? Thanks!
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 4:26pm
No offense to you, but why would you want to marry a guy that is 31, still living at home, and making no attempt to live on his own? I don't think it is that is not happy with you, rather he needs to grow up and learn how to be responsible for himself or you will never get married.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 4:33pm
vanillasmoothie...

The b/f isn't ready to settle down...nor is he interested in making long range plans while you're busy getting your degree. Do Pianoguy a favor...PLEASE???

Don't put the cart before the horse!

Finish your education...and once that's over...ask your b/f if he has changed his mind or has any future thoughts about marriage and a happy life together? Once you get some answer (it's gonna be serious or non-descriptive...you'll know which direction YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE! And you might end up "going your own way" (paraphrasing Fleetwood Mac here).

Look...if the words your b/f says aren't satisfying...remember there are many other men who love to be with a girl like you!

Pianoguy