What's his angle?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
What's his angle?
3
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 12:12pm
Never Mind


Edited 6/4/2004 11:17 pm ET ET by catgirl215
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:38pm
I think you're "making up" mixed signals.

First, he pays - that doesn't mean he considers it a date. And you're not around in his daily life to know if he does most of the "treating" with his other female friends.

And that is really the ONLY signal that you're focusing on, it seems.

Because there's a few concrete facts you're overlooking.

a) he hasn't asked you out on a date or brought it up as potential. You think he's 'shy'? I hardly think so.

b) when you're available and convenient he's all about no-obligation/no commitment contact - and when you're not he's pretty hard to pin down. Meaning, when you're around you're meeting his needs for companionship - but when you're not someone else is....his needs didn't change just because you had to leave.

So basically, i think the guy would be more than happy to reinstate on a regular "whenever you visit" basis the 'benefits' that you two once enjoyed. Butwhat he is NOT pursuing is more constant contact, with obligation, and dating while living long distance.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:50pm
Why do you want to know and how will it change you! Think if he says yes - what happens then - do you move to be with him? And if he says no - is it over?

If you want to know then lay it on the line. Communication is very important. This way you don't have to wonder no more and you can move on with your life with or without him. In telling him how you feel you are taking a risk and you have to decide if it's a risk you want to take b/c if he doesn't feel the same way then it could be good bye!

He could be avoiding the phone calls for two reasons: One is that he does have feelings for you and it's hard for him talk to you everyday b/c he'll have to confront those feelings...so in someways it's out of site out of mind! The second reason is that he's not interested in a relationship like that and just enjoys your company when in town!

You won't know until you ask him! If you have feelings for him and want this to develop into something more my suggestion would be to lay all your cards out. Once you ask things will change! If you don't want something more out of this then maybe it's better left as just a friendly visit.

Whatever you decide we'll be here if you need us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:52pm
I think that fact that neither of us have ever stated how we feel has been over looked too. Plus there has been a relationship on my part (with someone else) that may impede him wanting to state the way he feels. He did keep pressing the issue and asking about us.