whats wrong with him?
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whats wrong with him?
| Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:58am |
Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and it has been rocky. for some reason we have decided to stay together and try to work things out. he has had this issue with looking up porn on the internet and i cant stand it. i dont mind if he watches porn on a dvd or vhs tape but when he does it online it drives me crazy, perhaps because im paranoid about people that can tap into my system, or that he only does it when im not home, either way i have asked him not to do it and he continues to. the one time that i suggested we watch a pornography movie together he acted as if he were offended and he refused to touch me if i "needed porn to get in the mood". he also searches the internet for porn when he feels i have done him wrong in some way, as if hes punishing me for something. when i confront him on this subject he gets mad at me and brings up something that i have done wrong to him in the past. no matter what i do or say he continues this behavior. i would expect this out of a 21 year old but hes reaching 39 and should realize that life isnt about who wins the name calling match on the playground. he continuously says that i am addicted to the internet but when i suggested that we just get rid of it, he looked as though he was going to cry and then said no i like to have it so i can look up the news. correct me if im wrong but last i checked, the news had no coverage on the many ways women can bend and twist their bodies for men with raging testosterone. i dont know what to say to him or what i should actually do, its not that i care if he looks at porn, i just dont want him to do it online. but he acts ashamed if he watches porn in front of me, but then turns around and says that its natural to look at such things, but my question to him is that if it were natural then why hide it. he never has given me and answer for that. ive seen the types of porn he looks at and its not your typical guy on girl action, some of it is transexuals, some of it is gay porn, some of it is overweight people, some of it is fetish porn, and there are a few that are "typical". this has me confused also, he says that he looks at the transexual ones because its so odd but wouldnt once be enough? and i havent ever asked him about the gay porn or any of the other types either. im just confused, and i read what was said about the womans boyfriend hiding it behind her back and to be honest i agree but i disagree, men look at other women and DO find them attractive, and at times even more attractive than the person they are with, thats just life. but what i dont get is why does he think its ok to look at porn behind my back but when i say lets watch it together he gets upset?

Have you suggested couple's counseling to resolve your power struggles (him punishing you for some wrong or hurt)? That would be the first place to start.
Maybe he's just curious but it sounds weird to me....
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie