What's wrong with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
What's wrong with me?
5
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 11:21am
I am a 25 year old female (soon to be 26) and I have been dating M for nearly 2 years. He is a great guy with a great heart, and we have been living together now for 2 months. That seems to be working out fine, but it seems like we have been having more arguments lately than we used to. It's usually during the weekend when one or both of us has been drinking. This past weekend we went on a float trip with some friends and both got pretty saucy. I was moody as hell, and overly emotional. We got into it, and he says he doesn't remember that part of the float. After the float, we went to dinner and everything was fine. He was telling me that he loved me (which he does all the time.) The thing is, I feel like it is me that is causing a good portion of the turmoil because of my moodiness. I am aware that alcohol does not agree with me, yet I can't stop drinking because everyone else around me is. And when I'm not in such a good mood to start with, it makes it worse. I feel like it is me that is ruining this relationship and I can't snap out of it. I'm gonna lose him if I keep it up. Counseling has not helped me that much. Does ANYONE have any advice????
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 11:28am

It's not you that's ruining the relationship, it's alcoholism.

As well you know, alcohol can make people act in a way that is very uncharacteristic for them. This is obviously happening for you, and maybe for your boyfriend as well.

You say you CAN'T stop drinking and you CAN'T snap out of it. Why, because your friends are drinking? Or is it because you are addicted to how alcohol makes you feel?

If you find yourself unable to stop drinking while other people are drinking then I'm sorry but you're going to have to either find a way to control the amount you drink, or change your environment. Maybe even your friends if they are encouraging this. I know it's been said on all of the commercials we saw growing up but real friends don't let you do things like that to yourself because they care about your well-being.

If you are addicted to alcohol, or feel yourself unable to stop drinking, please contact Alcoholics Anonymous or another alcoholic support group and get the help you need to stop.

There is no way to fix your relationship problems without dealing with your problem with alcohol. If this guy means that much to you, you will do everything in your power to stop letting your drinking come between you, which may mean stopping altogether.

Some people just do not respond well to being drunk, and if it makes you overly emotional or angry then you might be one of them. The solution for that is to drink very rarely or not at all.

Good luck, hopefully your guy will support you with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 12:42pm

Welcome to the board lhr81,


::I am aware that alcohol does not agree with me, yet I can't stop drinking because everyone else around me is. And when I'm not in such a good mood to start with, it makes it worse.


So you are willing to risk your relationship because everyone else is drinking so you have to also?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 3:23pm

Welcome to the board lrh81,


Obviously you have a problem with drinking. You need to stop. If you can't do this on your own then please consider going to AA or rehab. This is a serious problem and can ruin other areas of your life not just your relationship. Please consider getting help for this before it gets any worse.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2006
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 6:29pm
I think your problem is with alcohol, not the relationship. If you cannot control your drinking, that would be considered a serious alcohol related problem for which you may have to seek counseling for. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 9:05pm

I think it is time to figure out what you mean by 'mood problems'. Do you have a problem with anxiety? Anger?

Also, if you can't stop drinking because others around you are, even at the risk of hurting your relationship and thinking rationally then you might have a problem.