When do you go to family functions?
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When do you go to family functions?
| Wed, 12-05-2007 - 10:22pm |
My bf and I have been together for 4 months.
| Wed, 12-05-2007 - 10:22pm |
My bf and I have been together for 4 months.
Welcome to the board kheta13,
Sounds like the two of you have a difference in expectations and standard that you go by when in a relationship.
I don't think there's any rule about family functions either.
One of the biggest mistakes people can make is to judge their own relationship by what their friends say "should" be happening. Learn to trust your own instinct.
Here's the thing, it seems in your family, the family meet isn't such a big deal, since they equally bring flavor-of-the-week types and also long-term SOs, so maybe meeting the family is not quite as unique or as monumental a thing as it is for some other people. Seems like your guy falls into the family visit category of only-when-they're special, in which case you should feel pretty darn good about yourself. He even made a bit of accomodation in his perception of when this stuff normally happens to be with you because it was important to you. Read that again: He did something he normally wouldn't have because it was important to you. You need to appreciate that instead of question it.
If I read your post correctly, he didn't say he wouldn't come to these things, just that he shouldn't be **expected** to until things are further along, and you know what, he's right. Your family obligations are not his family obligations, not yet, so don't make them that way. He *wants* to come, which is infinitely more sweet and powerful than having to come. So look at it that way.
Remember don't compare what's going on in your relationship to what's going on in other people's. I know it's hard, but most relationships are actually very different behind closed doors from what they show the world, and you don't want to be emulating something that may secretly be going down in a fireball. Again, learn to trust your own instincts as to when things fele right in *your* relationship.
Ask him to your birthday dinner. How would you feel if he had one and didn't invite you? That's much different than a wedding of a cousin or a family Thanksgiving or what have you. Of course he'd **want** to be there. Just ask him.
Good luck,
Welcome to the board kheta13,
I don't think there is any timeline that couples must follow on when they should go to family functions. They should go by what feels right to them.
In my opinion, I think women want and feel more comfortable going to family functions than men do. I don't think it really has anything to do with how long the couple has been together.
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