When do you know it is time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
When do you know it is time?
3
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 3:37pm
Ok, so I have never done this before, but figured it was worth hearing someone elses advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating a year and a half and things are going well. I just got accepted to a program to earn my masters degree and he is on his way to doing the same. We are both in our mid-twenties and in no rush to settle down. The problem is that we are still very happy living our separate own lives and our relationship life like we have been for so long, but people are starting to talk about how it is a dead end realtionship because after this long we should be totally tied down to each other. This makes no sense to me since I am still working on my career and all and him as well. People are starting to ask when we are going to move in together because we have been together "ages" according to them and it is making me very self-conscious. I can not even think of how one brings that up in conversation to discuss it. I was just wondering if anyone else had an opinion out there about it. I could use some advice from an outsider=)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 3:47pm
First of all, 1 1/2yrs is not really "ages". I could see if you said you two were dating with no idea of your committment level after 10yrs, but you guys are still in the semi-honeymoon phase. Let your relationship progress at YOUR pace and HIS pace, not everyone else's. If you guys are happy where you're at right now, that's all that matters. So the next time some well-meaning busybody throws in their two cents about where you should be by now, smile and say "thank you for showing such concern about my personal affairs," and then leave them wondering if you meant it as appreciation or a sarcastic warning to back off. :o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 4:31pm
As Dear Abby suggests, when they ask, ask them "Why do you want to know?"


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 5:56pm

First of all, no one knows what goes on in your life, but you...that said, no one knows what pace you should move at but you. There isnt a time limit on how long u can date before there must be a ring on your finger. Use your own timeline and master a way to politley tell people to mind their own business.


My finace and i have a similar problem...people constantly ask us when we are going to have kids (we've been together for almost 7 years). To be honest, neither one of us are sure we even want them, period. The otjher day his mom asked us, for the umpteenth time, "when am I gonna have a grandbaby?" i politley said " I dont bring home things that dont have a return policy"...it had a bit of humur in it, but enough seriousness for her to realize its not her place...


Good luck,