When is enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
When is enough?
5
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 1:23pm

A little background.

Pamela


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 2:44pm
I have a friend who is a 'lifer'. That's her term. There are different kinds of therapists and therapies. You may have had someone more proactive than his or you did what you had to do. Who are we to judge him and his progress?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 3:22pm

Really?

Pamela


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 6:21pm

Different counselors handle things differently.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 10:00am

If he is afraid to talk to you, he needs to work that out in therapy. No, of course, therapy is not forever, unless it is used as a way to avoid handling certain issues. However, some patients feel that way during the course of therapy. Hopefully, they work those feelings out. I don't know what goes on in his therapy, or who his therapist is, but it is very important that he overcome his fear of you (which well may be a projection onto you of his fear of his own mother)....and become fully available to create a healthy, balanced relationship with you. All healthy relationships include open, honest, communication between both partners. Ask him if you do anything that he can point to that makes him afraid, or makes him feel judged or misunderstood? Let him know that you very much want to have open, honest communication with him, and since this is a problem you would even be willing to go to couple's therapy to be able to do so. Otherwise, he is just using the therapy as a substitute for what he should be eventually able to do with you. By suggesting couple's therapy, it's a good way to get another professional to take a look at the situation and what's going on with him.


All good wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 11:41am

Why not embrace the fact that he is in therapy instead of making it out that he is extremely neurotic (Woody Allen). You seem offended or threatened.


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