When is enough, ENOUGH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
When is enough, ENOUGH?
12
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 3:33am

Hi all,


Well let me start by telling you who I am. I am a 23 year old woman, and a 3rd year student @ NMSU (NEW MEXICO STATE UNIVERSITY) I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 6:32am

It is very difficult to go backwards in a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 10:48am

Enough is enough. He doesn't want to get married and he does what he wants with no respect for your feelings. This guy is not husband material.


Return the rings, etc and find a nice man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 3:12pm

Welcome to the board kidncorner1,


Sorry, but I think it's enough already too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 5:16pm

Welcome the board kidncorner1,


I think you are right in assuming another women will take your place soon. I would move out and spend some time by yourself and then get back into the dating game. Can't you see that he is just pushing you farther and farther away. First you are engaged with a wedding planned and then

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 7:12pm

I'm really sorry. I agree with the others; he's pushing you away intentionally. He doesn't want to get married to you. I'd not be surprised if he's sabotaging the relationship to either test his limits or try to get you to break up with him.

So you should break up with him.

What you want with him will never happen. I hate to say it because I know how it feels to break off an engagement but if you really think that this guy is "it" for you then you're wrong. You deserve much better and to continue putting up with being treated this way will be to do yourself a huge disservice that may mean a long time of self-esteem problems. You need to gather up all the courage you have and leave.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 3:37am

thanks for replying. your advice seemed the more realistic. Well it's been a couple of nights since i posted my problem and last and tonight he went out again and didn't come home til 5 am last night and he isn't home at all tonight. He is out with his friend sam and he just bought a new truck yesterday and is drinking. I'm tired of being the one whos cares more about us than he does.


All i want is to be his again and be admired and cherished again. We talk about our situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 6:09am

I think as soon as you decide that it is over and actually take steps to move on, you will start feeling a lot better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 7:14am

I agree with coolas. When you stop listening to his overly dramatic "I can't live without you" texts and displays of flamboyant depression, and actually make the choice to leave and not look back, you will start seeing day by day how much better things are without him. Life is too short to spend it with people who hurt you. This relationship has gone sour and you're being taken on a rollercoaster. The relationships worth staying in will not do that to you. They're consistently good, and the times that are tough won't have you wondering "should I leave?"

Please don't hesitate to make the best choice for yourself, and please don't pay attention to him begging and pleading to win you back. Begging you to come back and temporarily showing you that he really wants you does not change the person he is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 10:06am

Do you have any friends at school that you can stay with for 1 month to finish the semester and would your mom be willing to pay for one month rent to allow you to finish the semester?


He's not home anyway, can you live the way you have been without the expectation of him being different?


I'm asking to give you different options to think about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2007
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 11:39am
Wow... in some ways I can totally understand where you are coming from. I myself am a 22 year old female living in El Paso, TX. Not to far from you I think... all i can say is that you should move out and get your own independence. I am in the middle of the same thing. We got engaged last month and had things already reserved just for him to tell me a week ago its over. He is now telling me to move out. I check his phone and his email all the time, in fear of him cheating. I dont think he has or ever will, but he does have an ex wife that still thinks very highly of him. I think we should talk sometime. Never hurts to have a friend that is in an experience close to yours. Id just move out and let him see what hes losing. If he moves on quickly or pays you no attention I think you have your answer.

 

 

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