Where did our marriage go wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Where did our marriage go wrong?
5
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 10:51pm

I am now 39 and my husband is 40, we have 1 child and have been married for 8yrs. I guess you could say that we never really had a strong marriage. He is very controlling and in general...not a happy guy.


We don't have much communication and he is not overly nice to me. Basically to him, if dinner is served, everything is ok in his world. I feel like I am not his partner, just here to take over the role from his mother. He grew up in the world where mommy does everything and daddy works...period. Well, I have 3 PT jobs that I juggle along with my child who is 4. I work while she is in school and I do some work at night. I sort of freelance so I have some flexibility. We have a strange financial situation where he pays some bills and I pay other bills, since I quit my career when my daughter was born, I don't make nearly as much money, so I pay my few small bills, (cell, ins) and I buy all the groceries and house needs (soap, shampoo) and I pay for my daughter's school (400 a month). Now in order for me to pay for these things, I do have to work a few nights, only for a few hours, maybe 2 nts a week. But EVERY week is the same, when HE comes home and I have to go to work he makes comments and acts like I am troubling him. He claims that I don't have to work those nights....It's the same old story, I am suppose to pay for these things, but yet he gets mad when I go to work...I can't win here....


I also joined a local group with other moms and get together with the kids in the daytime for kids activites, no

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 5:27am
How much one on one time do you spend together away from the house?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 7:00am

Not much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 1:52pm

Welcome to the board lileelee24,


Next time he tells you that you don't need to work nights, hand him (in his hands)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 8:24am
Yes.....I do agree.....I was thinking about going to counseling on my own and trying to sort out my feelings. I don't feel as though I have any love for him, since he isn't very nice to me
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Wed, 08-06-2008 - 11:07am
I'm afraid to say that from what you've described I'm inclined to believe your husband doesn't really want to be your husband any longer. He doesn't