Where do I begin?????
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Where do I begin?????
| Thu, 01-22-2004 - 10:02am |
Ok here is my situation. I have been dating this guy for the past 7 years. The relationship was going good until he cheated on me in August. We broke up for about three months and then got back together at the end of November because I decided I wanted to work things out with him, since I loved him so much. In December we moved in together and everything was perfect. We didnt argue or anything. For the new year we decided to leave his past behind and start anew to make our relationship better. Now heres the thing, He is in his last year of college and he is joining a fraturnity. While he's pledging, he can not speak to anyone and when he comes home to work he has to go right back up after work He's not allowed to make any phone calls while he is up there. Now my problem is im being paranoyed. Im scared that he is lieing to me, so that he can cheat again. I mean ever since we have been back together, he has been showing me that I can trust him and that he loves me, But im scared to get hurt like that again. I want to trust him, But where do I begin? This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I want us to be happy, by I feel this issue might get the best of us if I dont try.
Signatures On
| Thu, 01-22-2004 - 10:40am |
What is the underlying reason why he cheated on you after being with you for 7 years? And, have the circumstances between you changed so much now so that the reason no longer exists? I have learned that no matter how much you love someone and want to be with them, you have absolutely no control over their behavior or feelings. He will do what he wants to do, what his values allow him to do, what he feels like doing, no matter what you say or do. That's just how it is unfortunately. That's why once trust is broken, it is a very, very hard thing to rebuild. You certainly cannot do it in a few months. If you think that moving in with him would somehow curtail him from cheating again, I don't agree. Again, he will do whatever his character allows for him to do. It's out of your control. What *is* in your control is the choices and decisions *you* make. And you alone are responsible for the consequences of those choices and decisions in your life. Good luck.
