where do I start...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
where do I start...
3
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 10:06pm
My biggest problem is that I am extremely passive aggressive. Those who have been on here for a while probably know me all too well. Same situation, same man. He has been faithful from what I know ( for all you knew to this, this is a big set back. You will always question what is and isnt true) and has been attentive as much as he can, he is a business owner and we live 45 minutes away. I have had a lot of pent up feelings towards his past actions, cheating, lame excuses, and lying. I do want it to work, especially since he is trying. I cant seem to get over the past, I understand there are just some lines that cant be crossed, and mine were drawn a while back, but what is keeping me wanting to fix things? When will I get it, I wish he would first. I just want him to realize how his indescretions effected me, I dont want to make him feel like he is under a microscope. I dont want to pretend like certain things didnt happen. More than anything I just want to get to a place where I can make a solid relationship decision and stick with it, stay with him or leave him in confidence. It is to the point where nothing would suprise me, I have a giant wall up that I wish I could break down.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 10:35pm

lzzyliz7,


Healing from a betrayal isn't not something that people 'just get over' especially without professional help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 10:50pm
I dont think he would. Like I preach to other people, I know this isnt my problem, in a sense I am a long for the ride. I will respect his advances towards fixing what can be repaired. I just hate how delayed my reaction has been. Like you said, betrayl isnt something easily fixed. For some reason I thought I could easily brush it off AND "PRETEND" that it never happened. It did though, and that is the one thing that I am going to have to face. It just comes out so randomly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 12:03am
From everything I've read, the random-ness is normal.