Who's confused here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2007
Who's confused here?
3
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 12:18am

Hi there -

I'm in relationship limbo since my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. We'd had a seemingly perfect relationship up until the last two weeks. It seemed out of nowhere, he needed space and he said he couldn't contribute to a relationship right now, and therefore couldn't be with me. Well, I moved from another state to be in this relationship with him so I pretty much have no one else here for me. So we continued to talk because he had said he didn't want it to be the end, he just needed some time alone to figure some things out. After about a month of purgatory, he started to show interest again and we started to hang out again. We had a couple great weekends together and we talked and he said he wanted to "take it slow." Well after those two weekends, it started to go downhill again, but we saw each other maybe one day a week. But it usually ended up being just hanging out and having sex. So finally this past week, after another sex night, I asked him "What are we?" And he said, "I don't know how to answer that honestly." And he asked if I was still okay with things or if I wanted more. I said I was okay. Really I'm not. But since then he's been even more distant than he has been over the past couple weeks. I keep thinking its just because he's been working on moving the last couple weeks but then I think I'm just making excuses for him. When I asked about the state of our relationship, he said he's still confused and trying to figure things out. His confusion makes me confused because to me, "take it slow" meant we were in a relationship but I guess that is not what that meant but more of a string to keep me stringing along without the commitment?

Lisa

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 9:59am

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but it sounds like your relationship is over. Now you need to think about yourself and what is best for you (clearly, he's thinking along the same lines for himself), and make some decisions.

I know this is very hard; maybe others have more optimistic and constructive suggestions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 12:54pm
I have to agree with the first reply. It does sound as though the relationship is over. Guys think differently and he did not seem to have a problem just having a sexual relationship with you. If that is all you want or need then continue that. But look how he changed things up when you asked what you were doing. It does not sound like he wants to be in a real relationship. Taking things slow usually means no sex, not sex only. I know you moved for him but he does not seem to want the type of relationship as you. Sorry but I am just being honest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 6:17pm

Welcome to the board scoobynshaggy22,


He's got all the benefits of being in a relationship without any responsibility to the relationship.