Why am I being so stupid??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
Why am I being so stupid??
2
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 11:47pm
Ok so I just started dating this guy about a month ago. He is WONDERFUL! One of the nicest guys I have ever met. It's almost as if he's too good to be true (honestly).

Anyways, my last relationship which wasn't really a relationship at all...just a tangled web of non stop mind games and sex and abuse which lasted for five years ended about 3 months ago. BUT the thing is is that me and him just kinda stop talking and thats it. We never decided anything or talked or anything...We just haven't seen eachother in three months. i don't know its hard to explain.

Well, needless to say I do still have feelings for him. And last night I was out at the bar with my new boyfriend and the old one came in. So what did i do but end up get really drunk and did nothing but talk about him (the ex) the entire night to my one girlfriend. It got to the point where I started screaming obscenities at him. It was pretty bad. Then my new boyfriend had to drag me out of the bar and take me home.

So now...I don't know what to do because I feel like last night just proved that I do still have some serious issues and feelings relating back to my past relationship and I do not want to bring my new boyfriend into it. He's too nice for this. Still, I don't want to not be with him. I like him and want to continue to date him but I don't want to be selfish. I don't know what to do! Any advice for this poor confused soul?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:11am

It does seem as though you need some type of closure to your past

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:56pm
First, you already dragged the new guy into the situation. He saw your behavior, your reactions, heard your words..... not good.

You have to deal with the anger, resentment, whatever you are feeling...so get out pen and paper and start by writing an UNSENT letter to your ex, telling him all about himself, the situation, the break up, don't hold anything back, then burn it. Write one daily if necessary.

If you'd like a form letter on forgiveness, write me at onetwinflame@hotmail.com and I will send it to you.


Carrie