Why can't I meet her friends???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Why can't I meet her friends???????
4
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 12:12am
My girl and I have been living together for the past 4 months.The girls on her job are soo curious to meet her boyfriend(me).This is because in sometime during the 4 months she had mentioned me to them on few occassions.She usually changes the subject when they bring up the idea of having a get-together and inviting her boyfriend.

I am wondering why she wouldn't want her friends on the job to meet me.For a guy maybe it is not a big issue.My girlfriend says she would like to keep her personal life personal and business, business.She says these girls are just co-workers and not her personal friends.She also says she and I have only been together 5 months and would prefer us to make our relationship more secure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:41am

What her intentions are is hard to say...Sounds like a bit of insecurity, as if she brings you around, it will jinx the relationship...Personally, I think its a cop out. For whatever reason, she doesnt want to meet new freinds, or have them meet you. i would ask her why. I am very proud of my finace and jump at the chance for him and I to meet new people, or to introduce him. I think it makes th erelationship stronger, not requiring it to be strong in order to do so.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 3:20pm
Any more suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 3:35pm
Does she see these co-workers outside of work, by herself? If not, I wouldn't worry about it. Some people do keep their personal life private and separate from their professional life. If she left the company tomorrow would she stay in touch with any of them? If not, again, I wouldn't worry about meeting them.

You could ask her when she thinks the two of you have enough time together to warrant meeting her co-workers.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 4:23pm
I agree with the other posters. I work at a company with all men and they talk about sports ALL the time, and I always join in because my husband is a sports freak so I know what they are talking about. Afterwords they always say that they'd like to meet him or have us get together and I just say "yeah that would be fun" and just go on to something else. I'm not embarrassed to have them meet my husband, he's great and they'd probably get along, but as another poster said, I left the company for about 6 months, in which time I had no contact with any of them. Not because I don't like them, but because personal is personal and business is business, so it may not be a big deal.

However, from what your post said you had only been dating for one month when you moved in together. That sounds pretty fast to me! She is using security as an excuse, but if she was secure enough with you to have you guys live together...I think thats a bigger step than meeting work friends, don't you think? It takes a lot more committment to move in with someone than it does to meet people at their work. So you might want to sit her down and discuss her security issues.