Why do I feel this way-what can I do?
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Why do I feel this way-what can I do?
| Wed, 07-07-2004 - 2:52pm |
Im not sure what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and have lived together for 9-10months. I love him very much and I know he loves me more than anything. He wants to get married and have a family. (We would be engaged right now but he's trying to get a better job and save money to buy a nice ring)The last few months things have been really rocky with us. I know thats it mainly my fault, but I can't seem to help it. I start fights with him about little things that I might normally blow off. I think that I just feel trapped. Im only 20yrs old (he's 24) and even though I love him and want to marry and be with him, I can't help but feel theres something better out there. I know that no one is perfect but theres things about him that I just am not that certain anymore if I want that for the rest of my life. I feel like I should experience more, but it also kills me to not be with him. I've tried talking to him about things that bug me and that I want changed and he promises me he will, but never does. Lately I've been paranoid that he's cheating on me and I will get so jealous now if I see him look at another girl. I don't know why I feel this way or what I am doing. I feel sorta lost. Has anyone gone through this sort of thing or have any advice? How do I stop feeling this way? I want to be with him and I want to want ONLY him, but I can't stop thinking about if Im making a mistake and if he's really right for me. How do you know that? Please help me!!!!

I really don't know how to tell if you have the right one. Studies say that women are generally satisfied economically with a man who makes as much money as her dad did. Personally, I've always felt respect was the single most important element in a relationship. Many, many fights and hurt feelings could be avoided if people would just be considerate of each other, especially in intimate relationships. Aside from that, I think the single biggest thing that keeps love alive is to continue the early attentions that began in the early part of the relationship, whether it be flowers, neck rubs, etc., whatever the two of you did to make the other feel special. If your man is willing to value you as much 10 years from now as he does now and/or did the day you got together, then I would say you have a good chance at a happy marriage. However, that's just my opinion. Good luck to you!
Everything you feel and question is normal. Having doubts are normal, but picking a fight, hmm, to push him away, to make him prove he loves and wants to be with you, to 'force' a change in him since you've asked and nothing has changed.... counseling can help you get to the bottom of the issue and the feelings that cause you to act out the way you do. Sometimes we know it's time to move on, but fear of the unknown, fear of the future, fear of not doing it right, fear of hurting the other person, fear of being alone, confronting change, can be very scary.
I wish you the best in sorting it all out.
Carrie
Carrie